The 100-Calorie Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! (Where “everybody” means “my readers who live in the United States and are celebrating this week.”)

I know you’ve probably got big plans and won’t be following your usual daily routine—where you read all your favorite blogs and then stop by mine, so I’ll keep this short and sweet.

Thanksgiving is more than just three or four uncomfortable visits to relatives you only see once every year or two. It’s more than just taking a moment to give thanks for the good things in your life, such as family, friends, and the fact that you know me. No, when it gets right down to it, it’s all about the guilt-ridden dinner you’ve been planning to enjoy for about a year now.

Well, take heart everyone, because I’ve come up with the perfect solution. It’s the 100-Calorie Thanksgiving Dinner. I’ve spent the last two weeks or so conducting this research and I’m sure you’ll all be happy with my results. You can now enjoy the big day, eat all you want, and not worry about blowing eleven months of dieting in a single afternoon.

Here’s how it works:

  • Turkey; eight ounces: 15 calories
  • Mashed potatoes smothered in butter; six ounces: 18 calories
  • Stuffing; twelve ounces, 22 calories
  • Gravy, poured over aforementioned ingredients; four ounces: 20 calories
  • Bread, to drench up the remaining gravy; two ounces: 14 calories
  • Cranberry sauce, freshly splunked from a can; three ounces: 8 calories
  • Pumpkin pie, topped with whipped cream, and then topped with a second pumpkin pie; fifteen ounces: 3 calories

Grand total: one hundred calories. Isn’t that amazing? Makes you wonder what we’ve been worrying about all this time. So eat up and quit worrying. Besides, you’ve got all of 2011 to work it off, in the unlikely event I’ve made any sort of miscalculation.

8 Responses to “The 100-Calorie Thanksgiving”

Anna said
November 24, 2010 at 6:03 am

haha! I wondered what dream feast you were going to come up with there.

Enjoy yourselves my American friends 🙂

I think I’ll come out in sympathy and have a glass of wine…..or two……or……

Anna 😉

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said
November 24, 2010 at 7:05 am

I”m totally coming over to your house for THAT meal!

Biz said
November 24, 2010 at 10:09 am

Ha – love it! I thought you were going to say that you bought a 100 calorie pack that had one bite that tasted like Thanksgiving food!

Have fun with our Momma!

Love, your prettier sister, Biz

One day to go…. said
November 24, 2010 at 10:37 am

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Julie said
November 24, 2010 at 11:07 am

Wishful thinking Charlie, wishful thinking. I plan on being as good as possible while at the Casino’s buffet plus tonight at my family Thanksgiving dinner. I hope to be able to report I did good. I am going to try.
Take care Charlie and Happy Thanksgiving. We have so much to be blessed about and finding you and your train to Onderland was on of those blessings. Thank you Charlie. God Bless!!

Quix said
November 24, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Perfect! I like the way you do math. 🙂 Happy thanksgiving!

JohnGL said
November 26, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Du-u-u-de, I think you some work with your cipherin’


Michelle said
November 29, 2010 at 8:46 am

Throw in a little sweet potato casserole for 3 calories and my Thanksgiving was only 103 calories. What a bargain 🙂

Thanks for making me laugh today!