1. a change of place, position, or state. e.g., The move will take place tomorrow.

2. a form that is derived from a verb but that functions as a noun; in English, forms ending in –ing. e.g., the word thinking in What were you thinking?

1. the act of changing of place, position, or state. e.g., What were you thinking when you decided on moving?

Post slugAbout three hundred and sixty eight hours, eighteen minutes, and fourteen man-seconds ago, we decided it was time to move out of the old house and into a new house. Not that I’m counting. Worse, by my current estimates, we are probably less than nineteen percent done with the entire process.

Our current house is fine. Our current neighborhood is pleasant. There’s nothing here we’re trying to correct other than 1) shorten my commute and 2) see if I can’t get all the way up to three jillion dollars in debt.

I debated a great deal about whether I wanted to talk about it here or not. Mostly because there are no real upsides in doing so, while there are plenty of downsides.

Downsides? Like what? Well, at any given time this project will be in one of two states: Good or Bad.

If it’s going good, then for human interest purposes, I’ll still find some cloud in the silver lining. I’ll mindlessly ramble on here, humblebragging my woes along the lines of, “OH! WHAT A DAY! First, I had to go shopping for all new furniture. THEN the artwork we commissioned came back mounted in the WRONG FRAMES. After that, we found out our gold-plated toilets are going to be THREE DAYS LATE. #FML” Voluntarily moving from an old house to a new house just to save a few minutes’ driving each day doesn’t even count as a first world problem. It’s a zeroth world problem. I simply loathe the idea of talking about it in public to any extent whatsoever.

Then, if it’s going bad — like something that genuinely upsets me — I’ll babble on about how the old house still hasn’t sold and we have to close on the new house tomorrow and we still haven’t paid off that fifth mortgage. And even then, it’s STILL going to sound like humblebragging. Hence: I simply loathe the idea of talking about it in public to any extent whatsoever.

So I’d pretty much made up my mind to just keep the entire affair quiet, when I realized that no matter what anyone else thinks, good or bad, this is a big deal in my own little world, plus (and I cannot stress this reason enough) I’m essentially all out of ideas on what to write about on this blog.

So brace yourself for a few house updates.

I’ll spare you from all the nitty gritty details, but I will say that we are having a new house built. It’s not a custom home. It’s one of the eight cookie-cutter shapes offered by the builder in the neighborhood that ended up being closest to work. But we do get to pick out any flooring we want and any cabinets we want and many, many other options (that fit in our budget) in a scene reminiscent of this:

Oh, sure, you can pick stuff from the other parts of the shelf. You brought your checkbook, right?

Next Week’s episode: Another post!

11 Responses to “Moving”

Biz said
October 23, 2015 at 9:23 am

Itโ€™s a zeroth world problem. So true, but like you said, still a big deal!

When my boss comes in huffing and puffing about how horrible her morning was because the window washer, the cleaning people AND the gardener all showed up at once and her poor dog was so excited about all the people that it peed on her kitchen floor, but since the cleaning people were there, at least they cleaned it up for her, but it made her 30 minutes late leaving the house.

I really don’t know how she had the energy to leave the house after that! And sometimes I want to look at her and say “my husband is dead” to bring her back to what really is important in life, but I know it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.

That being said (aren’t you happy I type fast!) I’ll send Hannah any time to organize stuff for you either before or after the move – but she’s ruthless ๐Ÿ˜€

The ****** Guy said
October 23, 2015 at 9:37 am

I’d love to see the “**** ** ** *****!?” photo somewhere on this internet tube. Can you make that happen?

    Charlie said
    October 23, 2015 at 10:00 am

    Yes, I can. That’s next week’s post. Spoilers have been removed from your comment by SpoilerRemover Pro 2000™ Start your free 14 day trial today!

      The ***** Guy, "Dave", Yes the REAL Dave from Reddit and ***** Place said
      October 23, 2015 at 10:02 am

      Thank you!

JohnGL said
October 23, 2015 at 1:38 pm

Sometimes you just gots to move. Being in the same house for 15 years just gets to be old hat. And expensive. New roofs, new AC, new fridge to go back to, new whatever. If you are facing all that “new” might as well get a new house, too! Congrats!

    Charlie said
    October 25, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    The “fifteen years” thing is the part I’m having the most trouble with. It’s like I just woke from a coma or something.

      JohnGL said
      October 26, 2015 at 2:53 pm

      Your kids went from little girls to college girls. You didn’t notice? ๐Ÿ™‚

        Charlie said
        October 30, 2015 at 12:28 am

        They what?

Anna said
October 23, 2015 at 1:44 pm

I dont envy you. I moved this year, after 20 years on one place, and its honestly the most stressful thing I’ve ever done. I’d take up the offer of Hannah’s ruthlessness and take a month off work!!

Good Luck ๐Ÿ˜€

yourprettiersister said
October 24, 2015 at 4:14 pm

I am happy for you though – not the getting rid of stuff and packing and unpacking – but a brand new house is awesome!

Love you!

    Charlie said
    October 26, 2015 at 8:02 am

    While the getting-rid-of-stuff-and-packing part is painful, it’s worth it — and long overdue. Just looking forward to that part being over.

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