New House Problems

Post slugAs of Friday, October 30, 2015, we’re now about three hundred and eighty four hours, twelve minutes, and thirty-three man-seconds into this project. Last week, in spite of my better judgment, I decided to talk about it out in the open. I almost didn’t, fearing that whether I talked about the ups or the downs, it might still come across as annoying and pointless. Well, here’s my first real update. You decide.

Here is a picture of the lot before all this started:

New house image

I remember thinking, “Hmmm, a lot of trees here. Not much room for a house. I’d better go talk to someone about this.” What I didn’t realize is that this was just the first of several dozen problems which I did NOT expect this soon in the process.

So I went to the builder and said, “What’s with all the trees? Where are we supposed to put the stupid house? We’re not building a tree house, you know!”

“Don’t worry, sir, we’ll take care of it.”

And boy did they ever! I went back ten minutes later and the lot looked like this:

New house image

So I stormed back to the builder. “What happened to all the trees?!” I asked politely at the top of my lungs. “I wanted to keep them!”

“But, sir…” they began. “You said…”

“No buts!!!” I interrupted. “I want those trees put back in the next ten minutes or I’ll just go build a house somewhere else!”

They promised they would put them back. But an hour later, they still weren’t back.

Weeks went by and a bad thought occurred to me. I thought, “I’m buying a new house. I’m paying a lot of money for this new house. So where is it? Don’t tell me after that deforestation debacle, that they’re all done!”

So I drove back out to see my new house. You’re not gonna believe this!!! My house is just a pile of sticks! Look at this picture:

New house image

I paid the builder for a house. Not a pile of sticks! Not even a roof. All our stuff is going to get wet.

So I walked around the pile of sticks to see what the finished landscaping looked like. Landscaping! Ha! You call this landscaping? Who did they hire to do this, a bunch of four-year-olds from the Happy Giraffe Day Care up the street?

New house image

Supposedly this is the guest bedroom! Sure hope you like the plastic “carpet” mom!

New house image

And take a look at this. This is my damn shower! They expect me to take a shower here? Without plumbing or walls or even a little soap holder? I’m really starting to feel like I got the short end of the stick on this deal.

New house image

As I turned to leave, disgusted with this mistake of a project, it started raining. Great! EXACTLY what I feared when I first saw that pile of sticks they call a finished house. Now the floor’s all wet. For the amount of money this is costing me, I sure hope they toss in a free wet-vac so I can clean up this mess.

New house image

I’m hoping things turn around soon, but with the project this far off the rails this early in the game, I’m not so sure. Next thing you know, I’ll find out there’s no electricity.

Wait a second . . .

New house image

Do you see any outlets!?!?



13 Responses to “New House Problems”

Julie said
on
October 30, 2015 at 8:47 pm

What about a toilet, I don’t see that next to the shower either. You better complain a bit more. Lol
Love seeing a new home going up. Please keep sharing.
Good luck!

Biz said
on
November 2, 2015 at 2:20 pm

OMG, not sure how I missed this post. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with all the decisions you guys have to make!

Does Mom miss me?

    Charlie said
    on
    November 3, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Mom hasn’t started talking about you.

    Charlie said
    on
    November 3, 2015 at 10:03 am

    But I’m glad you found my post. Don’t forget, I post every Friday. NO EXCUSES FOR MISSING IT!!!111

Anna UK said
on
November 6, 2015 at 11:06 am

How excting! Would love to build my own home πŸ˜€

Dave The Real Dave Not the Imitator said
on
November 6, 2015 at 11:11 am

The Hills built a fine house of splendour
Built not with blood, but legal tender
And though it lacked PacMan or Defender
It had three places to poop

    Charlie said
    on
    November 9, 2015 at 8:28 am

    Thanks for keepin’ it real, Dave.

JohnGL said
on
November 6, 2015 at 11:16 am

No worries Sir, it will plumb, level, and square. It will have toidies and showers and sinks and floor coverings and walls. It will have doors and windows, too. Oh, and a roof. Yep, you get one of those, too. And outlets. Wires, pipes, trim and drywall come with the package. What kind of paint did you say you wanted? Oh, and those trees…yeah, will put some back, maybe even with some grass around them. They’ll cost you though. The house is free, but the trees and lawn will be a half million.

    Charlie said
    on
    November 9, 2015 at 8:29 am

    Or, perhaps the house and trees and lawn are all free, but I pay eventually for it all being surrounded by toll roads.

AUNT PAT said
on
November 7, 2015 at 8:47 am

Charlie—I’m so excited for you! It’s a wonderful EXPERIENCE! YOU’LL NEVER RECOVER! Keep sending the updates–did they give you a completion date? At least they’ve got cement work in before winter–LOL

    Charlie said
    on
    November 9, 2015 at 8:30 am

    The original, hoped-for target is end of May. Plus or minus six months. πŸ™‚