World Cheese Tour, Part 2

For some reason (which is currently unclear to me) I graduated with a minor in psychology. The only thing I can currently think of is that I figured it would help me write a couple blog posts some twenty years in the future.

In one class I studied something called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. If you haven’t heard of it, let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Maslow divided human needs into a pyramid, with basic needs at the bottom and “higher order” needs at the top. People are never concerned with fulfilling higher order needs unless all the needs below were fulfilled. A real life example of this happened while I was still in college. Three other guys and I were driving somewhere, presumably to a party of sorts. One guy was waxing poetic about the potential babes that might be in attendance. Another guy echoed these sentiments. A third guy said, “Forget that. Stop the car. I gotta pee NOW.” See? Lower order needs do trump higher order needs.

The pyramid made sense, but the more I studied it, the more I realized something major was missing. Here then, I present, Charlie’s Modified Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:

Now that the importance of cheese has been established beyond all argument, let’s move on to the second part of our World Cheese Tour:

This is Limburger cheese. Most of us (at least Americans) only know Limburger cheese as the horribly smelly cheese from Tom and Jerry cartoons or old Little Rascal’s episodes. I have never actually seen it in real life and to my knowledge don’t know anyone who has. I suppose someday I might try some, just to satisfy a lifelong curiosity. But you go first.

Next is Cheez Whiz. For the health conscious, you will be happy to know that this stuff is made from 100% real Cheez. No substitutes. If you’ve never tried it, then I can only conclude you you’re a high class person and I’d like to make your acquaintance. Being the low-class slob I am, I love this stuff. Especially straight from the can.

Ahhh… chips and queso. This is the first Group Cheese on our tour and another one of my favorites. No dinner outing is complete without three bowls of it plus eighteen complimentary baskets of tortilla chips. If a friend shows up and asks if he or she can also partake, Judith Martin will tell you the correct reply is, “Mi queso es su queso.”

I’ve had Cheetos all my life but to be honest I never really thought much of them. Then, perhaps two months ago, I saw a bag in the vending machine and something (not this woman) compelled me to buy them. Wow! They’re good. Then I tried the jalapeno flavored ones. Double wow! Highly recommended, folks.

The final cheese on this tour is the Almighty Cheez-It. There are no words, people. It seems simple enough: flour, oil, cheese, paprika, salt … but oh my…! There’s got to be something going in these things that they’re not printing on the box. I recently had another one of those monster three-pound boxes show up in the house and I’m positive their presence had something to do with the recent flatlining. The good news is they’re gone. The bad news is, they can show up again at any time. I am doomed.

So there’s our second stop of the tour. Don’t worry, the next time we’ll be back to real cheeses. I just thought I’d have some fun … you know me.

Oh, and in case you missed it, be sure to go back and visit the first stop.

14 Responses to “World Cheese Tour, Part 2”

Recipe man said
March 31, 2009 at 12:14 am

Great post!
im new here but this site seems great!

maggieapril said
March 31, 2009 at 4:02 am

“Mi queso es su queso.”

heeheehee… I need friends like you!!

johngl said
March 31, 2009 at 5:14 am

I find it interesting that Maslow’s list puts sex and sexual intimacy on separate levels. But Charlie trumped him with Beaver cheese as a most basic need.

Back in the cave man days, Mongo said to his wife, “Sorry honey, not tonight, I have to go milk a beaver”

Mara @ What's For Dinner? said
March 31, 2009 at 5:24 am

Love the “cheese as lowest order need”… i agree.

Charlie said
March 31, 2009 at 5:43 am

Recipe man: seems great? It is great!


Welcome aboard the SS Fridge.

Jerry/Mom said
March 31, 2009 at 7:32 am

Many years ago, your grandpa bought some limburger cheese and put it in the fridge. It stunk….majorly. We all decided to see if it tasted like it smelled. It did. Yuk. He threw it out.

Shelley said
March 31, 2009 at 10:30 am

You and Biz have the same cheese addiction…although I’ve yet to see one of her recipes include cheetos, cheez-its or cheez wiz. Hmmm, maybe a BSI challenge?!

Pubsgal said
March 31, 2009 at 10:45 am

Oh, yum, although I’m sure one of those lower levels is occupied by “bacon.” Does it share the cheese layer, as illustrated by Bacon Cheddar Cheez Whiz?

angie said
March 31, 2009 at 11:05 am

Cheez-Its are “Crack Crackers” at my house. I cannot prove it, but it is my firm belief that crack is a hidden ingredient. Tasty, cheesy crack.

Quix said
March 31, 2009 at 2:01 pm

I was never that hot on queso until I moved to Austin, now it’s the stuff of dreams. I would pretty much eat anything on that page, besides cheez-its. I’m just not a fan. Cheetos, though, must be carefully rationed or I will destroy a bag in mere minutes.

And I totally agree, bacon needs to be there as well. Perhaps with chocolate as well. Now I’m making myself hungry, darn it.

MamaBearJune said
March 31, 2009 at 3:29 pm

LOL Had to get cheez-whiz and cheez-its for my daughter yesterday. I can resist those all day long, but if I see a tub of Cheetos, it’s mandatory that I personally take care of the whole tub full. This is my most serious craving during that TOM!

Oh, and regarding cheez-whiz, I assumed my daughter wanted the kind that comes in a jar with the pop top. (A staple of my childhood diet.) But could find that nowhere in our Safeway. Picked up some of the canned cheese and she said “That’s what I mean when I say Cheez-Whiz.” Well, then.

And I’m with Quix, dark chocolate is on my lowest level of the pyramid. Before all else.

Charlie said
March 31, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Who are these people commenting on my post who don’t like Cheez-Its? I… I… I thought we were friends!

kristisummer said
March 31, 2009 at 8:12 pm

haven’t had cheese in awhile. must buy.

Charlie said
April 1, 2009 at 5:20 am

At least you have some fine suggestions here, Kristi. 🙂