Plain Jane Baked Potato

Circumstance drives me to Jason’s Deli many times each year and I always order the salad bar. I don’t know what it is about their fixins that makes their salads so good, but I just can’t resist.

Now everyone knows the best thing about a salad bar is you get to put whatever you want on it. I suppose my salads are “salads” in the technical sense: they contain traces of lettuce and were assembled under sneeze guards. But my salads are manly salads. They’re topped with shredded cheeses and adorned with bacon bits, cashews, and other crunchy things. At least two hard boiled eggs always find their way into the mix. I avoid vegetables at all costs.

But this week I tried something a bit different. I got the extraordinarily innocuously named Plain Jane Baked Potato. “Potatoes are healthy, right?” I said to myself. “Especially a nice plain one. Besides, this is Jason’s Deli: the restaurant positively awash in organic and healthy propaganda. They wouldn’t steer me wrong.” So I ordered it.

So imagine my surprise when this son of a biscuit eater showed up:

I know photos can be deceiving, but trust me this was one big freakin potato. Here’s a different image to better help you gauge its size:

And did I say, “one big potato?” No, it’s actually TWO potatoes surgically attached into one big frankenpotato. And did my eyes deceive me? Did the menu actually call this the plain jane? What kind of “plain jane” potato comes covered in a pound of cheese, bacon bits, sour cream, and a giant wad of butter?

The Point of This Post
This is the “No Help Here” category where I attempt to help you. We’ve discussed hidden calories, dangerous restaurant menu items, and topics of this sort before. And I’ve always said, “C’mon, people … this is obvious stuff. We know what ‘bad’ food looks like. No one should ever have to tell you to NOT eat ginormous platters of food.”

But I must admit that even I, the Snarky Wonder, was taken aback when afterward I decided to look up the damage on the organic this, no artificial that, healthy potato at Jason’s deli.

So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, read no further…

Hey, at least it offers nearly a full day’s worth of calcium. I’m just glad I didn’t order two of them. But, as painful as it is for me to admit it, this tasted goooood. I mean, how could it not? Just look at this puppy. I can only redeem myself here by saying: at least I followed my senses and split it into two meals.

So! Who’s up for dessert?

14 Responses to “Plain Jane Baked Potato”

Jen B said
April 30, 2009 at 2:08 am

Oh. My. God.

A person could eat four of Jason’s Club Lite sandwiches (514 cals each) and still have calories to spare.

Sancho said
April 30, 2009 at 5:46 am

I think I gained weight just LOOKING at that photo!

Tom Rooney said
April 30, 2009 at 6:33 am

Do they have a fancy Jane on the menu? If not, I’m sure that would come with it’s own bucket of fried chicken.

bobbie said
April 30, 2009 at 7:23 am

you make me laugh…. and not feel so bad. one of my favorite food groups is stuffed anything!!

BigFatPie said
April 30, 2009 at 8:25 am

bloody HELL! That’s one mother HUBBARD of a spud!!!!!

Also, I really like the phrase ‘son of a biscuit’ – permission to use please!

AND ‘eeeeeewwwwwwwwww’ at ‘sneeze guard’ – that goes on the list 🙂

Shelley B said
April 30, 2009 at 9:45 am

Holy crap – even halved, that would take just about all of the calories I use for one day!!!

Anonymous said
April 30, 2009 at 11:35 am

That is amazing – I would have calculated that at 1/2 the amount of calories!!

Loves me a baked spud though!

GF said
April 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm


I never would’ve guessed. Nev-ah.

Good for you splitting it into to meals!!

Jenn@slim-shoppin said
April 30, 2009 at 3:14 pm

OMG, why would a restaurant serve something that was 2,300 calories!!

I’ve never seen a potato that big in my life, maybe next time, go back to the salad bar!

It does look tasty though!

Quix said
April 30, 2009 at 4:06 pm

That’s the one beef I have with Jasons (otherwise I love love love their food), they make out like they’re super healthy, and most of their menu is off limits to me because it’s got so many calories in it…half their sandwiches are approaching or over 1000 calories. My standby is build your own turkey with jalapeno pepper jack and a cup of veggie soup, which is a more reasonable 600 filling calories…

Roni said
April 30, 2009 at 9:10 pm

HOLY *shut your mouth*

Christy T said
May 3, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Oh my dear. That’s ridiculous.

Love the blog. Found you through Christy’s website, My Life My Journey.

Tuscanystone said
May 11, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Plain??? Surely they can be prosecuted under the trade descriptions act? lol

What comes on the non-plain versions then? Half a cow and a vat of cheese?

No wonder we are obese….jeez!

Tusc 🙂

cynda said
January 9, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Well that is alot of calories, why would anyone order that many calories? lol