Oh Dear

While I did complain last week about exceeding my self-imposed holiday weight gain limit, in all reality, I didn’t mind it that much. Sure, maybe the big picture still looked okay, but that’s not the real reason it didn’t bother me deep down. I was okay with it because it was just one quick week. And if my past is any indicator, the pounds that go on fast usually come off that way too. Once the rain finally stops, the floodwaters recede fairly quickly.

In theory.

This works as long as one gets right back on the plan. That didn’t happen for me. Believe me, though, I was all ready to. I was as fired up as everyone else on the planet at the beginning of a new year. Boy, nothing was gonna stop me this time.

And for all intents and purposes, it looked like everything was going to work out for me. At least for the first two hours. I ate my regular breakfast on the way to work. I had a reasonable lunch planned. But after I got to work, I discovered something I didn’t expect. There were still a few unopened holiday leftovers. And when I got home I realized there were even more leftovers there. Uh oh.

I hate wasting food. Sure, I could have given it to friends and family. Or taken it to a local shelter. Or sent it to all those starving kids in those faraway lands that our mother’s told us about. But no. I had to keep eating. Here’s what The Daily Plate told me about last week:

You were about 557 calories over your recommended daily caloric intake on January 5th, 2009.
You were about 409 calories over your recommended daily caloric intake on January 6th, 2009.
You were about 311 calories over your recommended daily caloric intake on January 7th, 2009.
You were about 25 calories over your recommended daily caloric intake on January 8th, 2009.
You were about 595 calories over your recommended daily caloric intake on January 9th, 2009.
You were about 918 calories over your recommended daily caloric intake on January 10th, 2009.

Again, this is the number of calories over the amount of calories needed to lose a pound a week. So if I’m 500 over, that means I’m right at my BMR and neither gaining nor losing.

Day 168
Starting Weight 224.0
Current Weight 209.5
Change from Last Week 0.0
Lost So Far 14.5
Pounds To Go 10.5

And look at that: the data supports it. Didn’t gain and didn’t lose. So, “yay” on the didn’t gain part, but “boo” on the didn’t lose. Now, before you all start saying, “That’s okay, Charlie you’ll do better this week you whiner.” There’s something else at work. It’s the Switch. I think it got flipped off. I know this feeling all too well. It’s that “ah screw it” feeling that operates deep down, almost at a subconscious level. It affects every food decision you make. It’s bad.

That’s not to say I’m giving up. Far from it. I may still be eight pounds over my December low point. I may be teetering on the brink of disaster. But my higher brain functions are still bound and determined to keep this going. I just hope the rest of my system goes along with it.

Stay tuned.

21 Responses to “Oh Dear”

Deborah said
January 12, 2009 at 5:20 am

Would it help if I stumbled around in your dark house and flipped that switch on for you? Here goes, “CHARLIE, GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR AND GET BACK TO IT!”

But then again that probably won’t help either. We all know what it’s like to not be in the right frame of mind to do this.

Good luck this week on getting that frame of mind back.

lauren plouffe said
January 12, 2009 at 5:30 am

You can DO IT. At least thats what I make my students say when they are being negative and self defeating, so go on , say it…..louder…..LOUDER…”what are you, a girl” Yeah, I say that, maybe teaching isn’t like the best niche for me, but if it got you motivated, then bully for me.

maggieapril said
January 12, 2009 at 6:01 am

I’m not typically a D-I-Y kind of person, but I finally managed to get my switch repaired on January 5th after 3 months of having it short out intermittently.

So you really CAN do it!! (you whiner)

Just_Kelly said
January 12, 2009 at 7:00 am

It’s good you are cognizant and aware of your eating patterns and progress though. Realization of a situation is the first step to improving it.

Brandi said
January 12, 2009 at 7:03 am

Flip that switch back to motivated and ready to go!! You can do it. Being aware is like 90% of the battle. G.I. Joe knew what he was talking about…

Jennifer said
January 12, 2009 at 7:45 am

Maybe you should schedule a few days this week at the gym, and that will get you back in the swing of things…I say that while I just caved and am eating a chocolate muffin one of my co-workers gave to me, and I already ate breakfast! Nertz!

Helen said
January 12, 2009 at 8:03 am

Whoo boy I know that feeling all too well. I’ve been stumbling around in the dark for several months looking for my switch. I’ll sigh with you.

Meg said
January 12, 2009 at 8:04 am

Flip it! FLIP THAT SWITCH! You can do it!

MaryB said
January 12, 2009 at 8:12 am

I want to know what you ate on Jan 10th that you were almost 1000 calories over! A whole cow??
Summer is coming and you want to look good in that bikini don’t you?? 😉

Tammy said
January 12, 2009 at 9:30 am

I hate it when that switch is flipped the wrong direction!

Charlie said
January 12, 2009 at 9:59 am

The problem with The Switch is that we have no control over it. It doesn’t operate at the level most of us consider “voluntary”. Sure, we can want it all we want, but if it were possible to have control over it, we wouldn’t all be in this situation.

And 1,000 calories over isn’t that hard. Not in the least bit. Heck, I’ve done that so many times with nothing more than a jar of peanut butter, a spoon, and five spare minutes.

On this particular day, it was another trip to the dreaded Red Robin. Half a big burger (itself about 800 calories), a bunch of fries, and a big beer. 1,000 calories is nuthin’

Quix said
January 12, 2009 at 10:46 am

Sometimes, you just have to accept that you’re not mentally ready to go through losing weight again. I didn’t completely leave the wagon, but I dipped my toes off the edge of it for a few months and learned what it was to maintain. Good learning experience, but I found myself this month so ready to finish losing weight and do whatever it took.

Sometimes though, you have to accept that you aren’t always going to like it, but you have to do it. Once you go through the motions enough, you might find that switch back on, especially if you make progress.

And I could easily go 1000 calories over with a normal, healthy diet and a night on the town drinking, so I totally understand!

Biz said
January 12, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Oh no, turn that Switch back on! I know the switch all too well!

I don’t know why it has to be all or nothing with me sometimes?

I only worked out 3 times last week, and drank wine Wednesday AND Thursday. I still managed to be down -2.5, but I think its probably just water.

We can do this Chow Lee!

Tuscanystone said
January 12, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Hmmm! My restart motivation came from some fat bloke telling me I was fat!!! lol

So Charlie, look in the mirror (preferably naked), take a pic of yourself (preferably naked) or try on a nice pair of jeans in your goal size and see if you find the switch!!

Good luck

Tusc 😉

Tuscanystone said
January 12, 2009 at 1:00 pm

Oh, congrats on the zero gain!! Awesome!! But you know you will just end up eating more if you dont eat less!! 😉

Christine said
January 12, 2009 at 3:47 pm

I wouldn’t say your switch is totally turned off–you are blogging and counting calories! Does it have to be an on/off switch? Maybe it is like the one I have in my dining room that has a dimmer switch I turn to make it really bright or really dark, or something in between. I think this weight loss thing has some “gray” areas. Don’t you? :~)

Shea said
January 12, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Hi Charlie,

I love that switch. I use it all the time. Interestingly, not that long ago, I got down to a weight that I have seen since I was 15 years old (22 years ago).

Do you hear how crazy that is? And do you know what I thought, “Wow. That really wasn’t as satisfying as I was hoping it would be.”

So, you know. Have fun & do your thing.

🙂 shea

MaryB said
January 13, 2009 at 8:52 am

In the interest of science, last night I made a peanut butter/mayonnaise/blue cheese sandwich. Instead of bread I used 2 Krispie Kremes and grilled it. You’re right, an extra 1000 calories over isn’t that hard!

Charlie said
January 13, 2009 at 9:31 am

Are you serious, MB? Wow.

Nicole said
January 13, 2009 at 8:10 pm

I’m hungry.

Anonymous said
January 15, 2009 at 10:14 am

This is just a small blip on the radar. Just hop back up and keep on keeping on. THere is now way you will fail if you just don’t stop moving on. Keep up the good work. Not quitting was the key for me in my 130 lb weight loss. That is the most important thing I think.