Two hundred and ninety five days ago, when I embarked on this latest quest, my main goal was to get blood sugars back to reasonable levels. This was when I decided to focus on low glycemic foods and not worry so much about calories.

It didn’t take long, however, (two hours?) for me to realize that, yeah, calories are probably important too. As much as I like to eat all sorts of crap I shouldn’t be eating, there were two items I needed to deal with in particular. Namely:

  1. Peanut Butter
  2. Cashews

I went an amazingly long time without peanut butter. This might not sound like a big deal to most of you, but the rest of you know exactly what I’m talking about. We’re the type who can hold our breath longer than we can go without peanut butter. Unfortunately, peanut butter has an exceedingly high caloric density and that’s not good for someone with my condition. I swear I could eat an entire family sized jar of the crunchy stuff in a single sitting. I’d even need two spoons since I’d easily wear out the first one three quarters of the way through.

But if you think this sounds bad, then just wait until you hear about the cashews. This innocent looking can to the right is known as “Planter’s Cashews Halves and Pieces” though it should just come right out and say “Evil Halves and Pieces.” This 46 ounce container is a single serving of nuts, to the tune of 7,820 calories. Oh sure, it says it’s supposed to be 46 servings. But come on. If that were true I’d pop open the top and see 46 little packages inside. All I see inside this can is 46 ounces of unfettered nuts.

(Unfettered Nuts would be a good band name.)

I went a bunch of months without touching the things, but last Friday found an unopened jar in the pantry. I opened it. The good news is, I didn’t eat them in one serving. The bad news is, they’re still there, taunting, taunting, taunting me.

What’s a boy to do?

14 Responses to “Cashews”

Cathy said
May 19, 2009 at 1:16 am

at least you don’t have a jar of them from costco sitting in your pantry, like I do. i’m in your same situation. have you tried cashew butter? i bought it once and that was enough – only because it was gone within 3 days. it became my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack! so delicious. but so so hard to avoid.

    Charlie said
    May 19, 2009 at 7:36 am

    I have tried cashew butter and oddly enough I really didn’t like it. I remember thinking how much I loved peanut butter and how much I loved cashews, therefore cashew butter should have been the ultimate. But it didn’t work out for me. That’s probably a good thing. Like, all I need is to find a way to remove the air between the cashews!

Cathy said
May 19, 2009 at 1:18 am

oh! 46 oz. never mind. costco’s is only 40 oz. the photo you put up is deceivingly tiny.

Loquin said
May 19, 2009 at 1:37 am

The only thing I could do in your situation is throw them away. And then throw away something gross on top of them. And then take the trash out. I have no willpower.

Joanie said
May 19, 2009 at 8:02 am

I love love love cashews. I’ve earned to buy the sleeves of cashews and only buy one at a time or I’ll eat all of them.

Helen said
May 19, 2009 at 9:23 am

Well, how I make smaller portions is to buy mixed nuts with no peanuts. I don’t like cashews, so I eat everything else then turn the can over to the hubster and he eats the cashews. It’s still too many nuts, I know, but at least it’s not the whole can.

Jess said
May 19, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Peanut butter is my favorite food and greatest weakness.

Tuscanystone said
May 19, 2009 at 3:43 pm

yeah, cashews are good, but still doesnt do it for me like chocolate. Oh man, I could eat a man sized chocolate bar!

Tusc 😉

    Charlie said
    May 19, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    Okay, how about chocolate covered cashews?

Kelly said
May 19, 2009 at 8:53 pm

I love cashews! This is why I don’t have any in the house. I don’t buy them. I can’t look in their direction.

If I were you I would give them away or just throw them out. My willpower isn’t strong enough to handle the knowledge that they are there, tasty, evil and available.

bobbie said
May 20, 2009 at 7:17 pm

if it’s not too late, chuck em.

Quix said
May 22, 2009 at 4:18 pm

Nuts are not allowed in my house unless they are those single serving packs. I toyed around with almonds for a bit but it took so much willpower to be responsible with them, it wasn’t worth it.

Helps that my fiance is allergic to peanuts…

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