Attempt 106, Week 4

“Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love’s first kiss.”

Those are the opening lines to the 2001 animated film Shrek. If you’re wondering why I decided to open up this post with that, it’s because I’m really not in the mood to write about anything remotely related to reality.

For example, if you were to say, “Charlie, please tell me about the last two weeks of your diet!” I would be forced to reply.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”

You would then give me a puzzled look, open your mouth, close it, and then slowly turn and walk away.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.”

Graph: Attempt 106, Week 4

Week Four
Starting Weight 233.0
Current Weight 227.4
Change from Last Time -0.4
Lost So Far 5.6
Pounds To Go 28.4

The glass-half-full people will look at the average loss for the two weeks (negative zero point four pounds) and say, “Well, at least it didn’t go up!” Or, the really positive thinkers out there would say, “You started the two weeks at 229 and ended it at 228. That’s a whole pound!” Unfortunately, I and my fellow glass-half-empty people look at these results and say, “The number went down in spite of what I did, not because of it.”

The fact is, I don’t want to lose weight. Okay . . . I do, but just not enough to offset the other sixteen thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine wants in my life. The day starts off well enough, but by ten o’clock I’ve been presented with something yummy and *click* just like that I’m off the wagon again.

The just switch ain’t on. I had it on a month ago and it lasted all of one week.

But I’m not giving up just yet. It’s not too late to try and bring this around. In fact, if I’m lucky, maybe someone will drive by and shout out, “Stop running, fatty!” I hear an event like that can be very motivational.

9 Responses to “Attempt 106, Week 4”

Anna said
August 8, 2011 at 4:45 am

I think I would say: Wow Charlie, you were 226 for 2 days!! Well done!! 😀

    Charlie said
    August 8, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Oh, you glass-half-full people crack me up!

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said
August 8, 2011 at 5:11 am

I need that switched flipped too! Desperately!

Helen said
August 8, 2011 at 6:50 am

OMG, Biz is going to storm this blog and put a can of whoop ass on you Charlie!

Besides, I think in your case “Put down the Cheez-Its Fatty!” would be more appropriate.

Deb said
August 8, 2011 at 8:58 am

Somebody said “nothing tastes better than how good I feel when I am thin”. Unfortunately, Cheez-its and other salty crunchy carbs ALL taste better to me, so I have to choose.

My choices are (apparently) to eat all the carbs I want and ignore the physical aftermath or to eat nearly none of the carbs I want and enjoy fitting into my clothes. But it IS a choice.

Switch on or switch off….it will always be the same. To indulge in carbs or lose weight – I simply cannot do both.

Biz said
August 8, 2011 at 9:53 am

Thanks for the shout out Charlie! And I agree with Helen – “put down the Cheez-Itz and peanut butter!”

The true test for me will be this weekend when I am in Virginia – I have visions of sausage biscuits and gravy, fried chicken and pork bbq – I tell myself that I am going to get up early and exercise – we’ll just have to see if I can do it!

your prettier sister said
August 8, 2011 at 11:35 am

Ha, the last part made me laugh about Biz! Poor Biz.

I am actually the lowest I’ve been all year. Last week I lost 2.2 but not sure how, I didn’t track anything! I wish I could do that every week!

Richard said
August 16, 2011 at 6:46 am

I think it’s funny to number your attempts at weight loss. It bring to mind Mark Twain’s quip that quitting smoking is the easiest thing to do in the world. He’d done it thousands of times.

But it seems to anticipate failure. Why should attempt #106 be any different than #82, or #17, or #4?

I have no suggestions or advice, just making an observation.

    Charlie said
    August 21, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    It won’t be. But it provides endless fodder for writing, that’s for sure.