A New Problem

judyDorothy felt trapped on the farm. She knew there must be more to life than counting chicken eggs and hanging out with Hunk, Zeke, and Hickory. There was a wonderful world out there somewhere over the rainbow. A life with meaning. A life of happiness. Heck, a life in color.

Taking a page out of Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt’s book, she hopped a twister and before she could say foreshadowing, she got her wish. She made it over the rainbow, all right. There’s one problem solved.

Unfortunately, she inadvertently whacked a witch in the process. This in and of itself wasn’t so bad, given the positive reception by the witch’s newly-liberated subjects. But it really ticked off the witch’s sister, who showed up in no time, seeking both revenge and a new pair of designer pumps. So now we have a new problem.

Some weeks ago I discovered a new fool-proof diet. I called it the Go To Bed As Soon As You Hit Your Calorie Intake For The Day plan. Whether that’s eleven in the morning or eleven at night, too bad. Go to bed. It was in response to my own problem of “doing good” all day, then losing it sometime after seven o’clock. I don’t think I’d be going out on a limb saying we’ve all experienced this.

Somehow, though—and I can only call it magic—I’ve gotten past this. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been tracking daily calories like a fiend, or it’s because I have to report my progress to the interwebs once a week, but I’m not heading back to the fridge every night like I used to. There’s one problem solved.

Instead, I seem to save it all up for Saturday night. Without fail, I hop on the scale Saturday morning, find I’ve reached my lowest weight for the week, then swear I won’t screw it up. Come Saturday evening, though, I end up surrounded by chips, fries, pizza, queso, burgers, chicken planks, or enchiladas and Sunday morning, I end up two pounds heavier. So now we have a new problem.

Day 84
Starting Weight 224.0
Current Weight 209.0
Change from Last Week +0.5
Lost So Far 15.0
Pounds To Go 10.0

In the grand scheme of things, though, it’s probably not really a problem. I’d rather fall apart once a week than once a day. And even though I was 207 on Saturday, in all reality I’m probably still 207 deep down. (I didn’t honestly expect to eat a half a bag of potato chips, drink two beers, down a large cheeseburger, and take a bath in cookie dough, then somehow weigh less a mere ten hours later.) Besides, the plan that doesn’t let you enjoy yourself once in a while is the plan doomed to stay in Oz forever.

11 Responses to “A New Problem”

Charlie said
October 20, 2008 at 9:31 am

Speaking of “a new problem” I apparently need to learn how to actually publish my posts. Sorry for the delay…

Jennifer said
October 20, 2008 at 9:40 am

I hate that! Maybe what you should do is weigh in on Mondays so that you do great all weekend? Mabye since you weigh in on Sat. at your lowest, psychologically you think you have some elbow room with your diet.

That’s okay Charlie, keep going, you’re doing great!

Biz said
October 20, 2008 at 9:56 am

I am proud to say that in 7 weeks, I’ve only had fast food once! (it was good though – the Volcano taco at taco bell!).

I found I just can’t have Trader Joe’s sesame pretzels in my house – that is my biggest temptation, once I start, I can’t stop!

Happy Monday C & J!

maggieapril said
October 20, 2008 at 11:55 am

My first visit to your blog. Very entertaining. See you again soon.

buddhalite said
October 20, 2008 at 12:04 pm

Hahahaha….I thought I was the only one on the Go To Bed Early To Stop Eating diet!!! Oh man, I love blogs.

crazylady said
October 20, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Hi Charlie, thanks for your comment on my blog. Have enjoyed reading this post and I’m now subscribed and aim to read many more… very entertaining and I completely know how you feel!!!

Oh LOVE the blog design too! Very impressive.

Joe S. said
October 20, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Love the site. I totally agree that the weekends are the biggest pitfall. Working all week I can plan all my meals in advance but there is something about college football saturday that is difficult. Drinking a bottle of water and watching the game is a tough pill to swallow.

jancd said
October 24, 2008 at 11:23 am

I find that a good sore throat will stop me from eating. It’s been working well for the past three days.

Charlie said
October 25, 2008 at 7:36 am

Oh, jancd, that is a bad way to lose weight. Hope you’re feeling better!

Tuscanystone said
November 18, 2008 at 8:04 am

I know that you’ve moved on from this and have lost more pounds (well done!!) However, I thought I’d suggest cheat days in your diet. This is now a common term used in the dieters dictionary!! I don’t mean guilt driven binge days, I mean planned cheat days when you allow yourself to eat exactly as you wish.

Don’t weigh the next day though, as you will always put on ‘weight’. It’s not really weight tho, you really do have to cheat eat consistently to actually gain fat.

That’s the good news. The other good news is you psychologically feel great: You dont feel deprived. You dont feel guilty. You give your metabolism a kick start.

Anyway, you’ve lost weight since this cheat day, so you know it works :o)

Oh! I wouldnt have more than one cheat day per week tho!! It might be rather self defeating….but it would make a comical post to write about 7 cheat days per week….lol

Charlie said
November 18, 2008 at 8:10 am

Tusc: “7 cheat days per week,” or as I like to call it, “the story of my life”. 🙂