Toast and Hot Chocolate

Everybody has a perfectly decadent little treat that they save for rare occasions, such as a birthday, the installation of a new pope, or a sunrise. It’s something you want to indulge in, but you know you shouldn’t—mostly because Oprah told you not to.

I have several items in this category, of course (pizza and Cheez-Its notwithstanding), but one of them you may find a bit unusual: toast and hot chocolate. While this sounds innocent enough, believe me, it’s far from it. Think of it like the cute little bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Toast and hot chocolate is no ordinary rabbit.

The drink clocks in at perhaps 150 calories. So far, so good. Now for the toast. To do it right, each slice of toast must have one coat of butter and one coat of jelly. The butter tempers the overwhelming fruity assault of the jelly as well as giving each bite the wonderful, overall, buttery taste that improves everything from movie popcorn to M&Ms. At this point we’ve added at least another 150 calories into the mix.

Per slice.

And that’s the problem. I can eat fifty-seven slices of toast without even thinking about it. Each one is folded over, dunked in the hot cocoa, and consumed in less time than it takes a doctor to sign an insulin prescription. I inhale them so fast it gives the Hoover Vacuum research lab pause. Slice after slice, loaf after loaf, until the call goes out on Wall Street, “Buy Wonderbread stock!”

It’s not pretty, I tell you. Fortunately, I’m pretty good at keeping this particular craving at bay, having it only at the most rare occasions. Which reminds me. Does anyone know offhand how old Benedict XVI is?

10 Responses to “Toast and Hot Chocolate”

JohnGL said
May 5, 2009 at 7:17 am

Probably older than 16. Yep, this confirms it:
Benedict XVI.; born Joseph Alois Ratzinger on 16 April 1927

He as old as my mother-in-law. It’s my latest unit of measure.

Kyddryn said
May 5, 2009 at 9:09 am

Big bowl of hot chocolate or cafe au lait. Baguette. Butter. Chocolate bar.

Layer, dunk, eat, repeat.


Shade and Sweetwater,

Rupal said
May 5, 2009 at 9:22 am

I love your colorful descriptions of what seems to be an innocent breakfast minus 49 slices!

Biz said
May 5, 2009 at 9:56 am

I am with you, except I would lose the jelly and add peanut butter!

Tom Rooney said
May 5, 2009 at 2:39 pm

I’ll call your peanut butter and raise you marshmallow fluff. Fifty nine of those and we’re really talking a full house.

Quix said
May 5, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Never thought about toast and hot chocolate that way, but I can see it. Especially because even if you limit yourself to just one slice, that’s 300 calories and it’s not very filling. That’s one reason I can’t keep peanut butter in the house. I’ll have a spoonful, and another, and another…and that stuff is loaded with calories. Good ones in moderation, sure. But that’s one food I don’t trust myself to moderate around…

bobbie said
May 5, 2009 at 3:22 pm

A kindred spirit!! I love toast and jelly, and I love hot chocolate. I have never had them together, but the next time I fall off the wagon [may it at least wait til next week] I shall try this combo.

Nicole said
May 6, 2009 at 6:54 am

I tend not to trust my moderation gene.

I’ve been watching a lot of mystery diagnosis. My theory is that I have a not-so-rare auto-immune system disease, with a Japanese sounding name, that renders me unable to stop eating once I have started.

Heather said
May 6, 2009 at 2:18 pm

My indulgence is Bagel w/ veggie cream cheese and hot chocolate. Miss that breakfast…

Tuscanystone said
May 11, 2009 at 7:22 pm

I love hot chocolate, but I dont like eating anything with it. I think it ruins the taste of the choc.

I love toast too. With Marmalade. Or lemon cheese. My max is 8 slices tho so you rule with 57….lol

Tusc 🙂