The Women’s Magazine Diet

This is the third of three reviews of popular diets.

To the untrained eye, the Women’s Magazine Diet looks strikingly similar to the Fad Diet. However, a closer look will reveal important differences. This diet routinely begins with an article called THE TRUTH ABOUT THE FAD DIET. This in-depth piece of journalism exposes the lies you were taught by the Fad Diet’s author. Invariably, the article tells you that what you thought made you thin actually makes you fat and vice versa. It trots out a semi-scientific study involving two groups of people. As expected, the group on your diet lost some weight but quickly gained it all back (and then some). Worse, the weight they did lose was all water and muscle tissue, so you can plainly see how stupid you were for trying that diet.

Luckily, they know how to save you from your dilemma–without any dieting! First, cut calories by making minor meal replacements. (“Swap your daily morning triple chocomocha frappelatte for a cup of green tea!”) Second, burn calories with pseudo-exercises. (“Forget your remote. Walk to the TV!”) By making 117 simple changes such as these to your daily lifestyle, you can lose ten pounds a year forever.

Don’t worry if you missed the most recent “truth about” issue of your favorite women’s magazine, they’ll run another one just like it next month. You’ll find it listed on the cover of every single issue, just to the left of the enormous chocolate cake photo. (OUR “DECADENT DOZEN” DESSERT RECIPES.)

Previous review: The Fad Diet