The Barrier, Part 2

One week ago our intrepid hero was still frustrated by his inability to get past The Barrier. Foiled once again by his arch nemesis, Charlie was seriously thinking about drowning his troubles in an eighteen inch, thin crust, pepperonly pizza. I mean, just look at three weeks of hard work:

Since I’m sure you’re all wondering where things went from there, please, come follow me as I now relive this past week:

Monday. I step on the scale this morning. It reads 202.5. Astute readers will realize this is two full pounds over yesterday’s official weekly weigh in and right next to the scary green clouds on the graph again. Boing! Right off The Barrier again. Frustrated, I immediately make up my mind to finally give the low-carb lifestyle another go. At lunch, my new, low-carb lifestyle comes to an abrupt halt in a giant bowl of Nong Shim noodles.

Tuesday. I step on the scale this morning. It reads 201.5. Wow! Maybe the new low-carb, high-noodle diet I invented yesterday is worth examining. I dropped a whole pound.

Wednesday. I step on the scale this morning. It reads 200.0. Oh man, oh man! I hit it again! This only happened once before: on February 4th. Could this be it? Am I going to hit my goal?

Fast forward about eight hours. I’m now at work and being presented with cake. (See Jess? You were right. It showed up on the blog.) Mmmm. The cake looks so good. I’ll just have one piece. Or two. Or three plus a cookie. Dangit! Oh well, hopefully this won’t hurt me tomorrow morning.

Thursday. I step on the scale this morning. It reads 202.5. Again. Just like Monday. *sigh*. Gee, didn’t see that coming. The Barrier wins. Again.

Friday. I step on the scale this morning. It reads 199.5. Dang it! I knew I’d blow it ag… wait a minute. WHAT’D THAT SAY? Did that scale just say 199.5?! In disbelief, I step back on. This time it reads 200.0. GRRRR! It’s The Barrier! It’s taunting me! It knows. I pace around the bathroom a couple times. What to do? Do I get on again? Do I let it go? I finally decide to give it another go and this time I get a camera, just in case. I get back on the scale. It now reads 200.5. GRRRR! How on earth—? Oh, wait a minute. I’m still holding the camera! I put the camera down, get back on the scale and THIS time it reads 199.0. You have got to be flipping kidding me! Now, thoroughly perplexed, I get on one last time. It reads 199.5. Stop it, stop it. End the torture. Get off while you can.

I decide to record 199.5 as the official weight for the day. I was hoping to cross The Barrier with something a bit more clear-cut than this, but I’ll take what I can get. That’s the good news. The bad news is it’s Friday. I still have all day Friday and all day Saturday before the official weekly weigh-in Sunday morning. Those are traditionally my worst days.

True to form, I go to Austin Pizza Garden for dinner Friday evening. The good news is I order a Caesar salad and I don’t eat a single slice of pizza. The bad news is, it’s a fourteen-pound salad. The even more bad news is I drink about five beers. That’s probably more than I had in all of 2008.

Saturday. With fear and trepidation, I step on the scale this morning. It reads 198.5. Talk about dodging a bullet! Granted, it’s a couple hours later in the day than my normal weigh in, so I gave myself a few extra hours to lose weight, but still! This is not only less than yesterday, but clearly counts as Two Days in Onederland. But it’s still not official until Sunday, and Saturdays are always bad. I’ve gained three pounds overnight before. It’s bound to happen again.

Sunday. With yesterday’s fear and trepidation still lingering, I step on the scale this morning. Believe it or not, it reads 198.5 again. That’s good enough for me, this is not a fluke. I have definitely crossed the threshold. The Barrier, dare I say, HAS BEEN BROKEN. Take a look:

Of course, I’m not officially in Onederland. As I’ve said before, I must have eight straight days at or below 199.5 for it to count. But this feels good. I really think this is it.

Day 217
Starting Weight 224.0
Current Weight 198.5
Change from Last Week -2.0
Lost So Far 25.5
Pounds To Go 9.5

Here’s the usual weekly stat table. I’m now down 25.5 pounds and as you can see, I only have 9.5 pounds to go. Wait a minute! Nine and a half pounds to go? What’s he talking about? Well, as I’ve been fond of pointing out, Onederland is just the first stop on this train. Weighing in the upper 190s is still a good thirty pounds more than what I weighed just eight years ago. I’m under no delusion that I’m going to drop another thirty. But I can drop another ten: so that’s the next goal: 189.0.

Before I go, Mr. Realist has one more chart for you. Before you all applaud and congratulate me (or worse, ask So how’d you do it?!), take a look at my daily caloric intake:

To say that this was a low calorie week is an understatement. Even though I ate all that cake on Wednesday, I didn’t eat much before that and I didn’t eat anything after it. And Friday, the day I ate the giant salad and drank a bucket of beer—even that day was still about 300 calories below my base rate. As you can see, a couple of days were very close to 1,000 calories.

I’d love to say I’ve lost all this weight eating carrots and running on the treadmill, but I did it eating cake and drinking beer. Once again, if you’re looking for a role model, please turn elsewhere. I hate saying that, in an area desperate for inspiration, but I can’t advocate this.

So why are the numbers so low? Well, in a word, I’m busy. I’ve really been too busy to eat my usual meals. And then when it did come time to eat, by the latter half of the week, all I could think of was The Barrier. I couldn’t go another week without crossing it. This is why I had a salad instead of pizza. But it’s also why I didn’t anything on Saturday until around one o’clock.

So I’m hoping to get this silly goal behind me once and for all and to just do things right for once. I owe it to y’all, my fan club—but mostly I just owe it to myself.

Then Mondays can be funny posts again.

28 Responses to “The Barrier, Part 2”

Cassie said
March 2, 2009 at 4:40 am

Way to go, Charlie!

Linda said
March 2, 2009 at 5:17 am

In short: Yay!

Helen said
March 2, 2009 at 5:26 am

Take it any way it comes Charlie – and enjoy it! Hey, maybe the real secret to dieting is to be busy?

Shelley said
March 2, 2009 at 6:27 am

Hmmm, the Cake and Beer Diet? I sense another book coming out! Congrats and welcome to onederland!!!!

johngl said
March 2, 2009 at 6:55 am

w00t! and congratulations!

Rachael said
March 2, 2009 at 7:03 am

Woo hoo!! You broke the Barrier!!!

Tuscanystone said
March 2, 2009 at 7:13 am

Wooooooooo hooooooooooooooo!!

I’m feeling like a proud sister! Well done honey. So glad that you stuck with it.

And if you really want to lose another 30lbs, then you will! Nothing is impossible……

Tusc ๐Ÿ˜‰

Meg said
March 2, 2009 at 7:51 am

YEAH Charlie! You rock!!!!

debby said
March 2, 2009 at 8:47 am

What, Charlie? You don’t think this is funny? ‘Wow! Maybe the new low-carb, high-noodle diet I invented yesterday is worth examining.’ THAT’S funny!

Congrats on reaching Onederland! I still remember the day my gossipy w.w. friend announced to a crowd of women that I had reached it. Somehow, it’s not the same happy dance for a 5’1″ woman…..

Deborah said
March 2, 2009 at 9:03 am

YAY, Onderlad at last!!

Tom Rooney said
March 2, 2009 at 9:52 am

I sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the bureau of weights and measures has decided to recall your scale for what they deem “inappropriate behavior”. It seems as all the additional weighing with multiple results has produced what scientists refer to as the โ€œlocal obvious surprise syndromeโ€ or LOSS, which if untreated can lead to smiles and good feelings for those that utilize this gadget. Please be cautious of any additional use since unverified measuring equipment can produce โ€œglobal accumulation in natureโ€ or GAIN at unannounced periods. Use this device at your own risk.

Oh, and congratulations

Lucrecia said
March 2, 2009 at 10:22 am

awesome!!! I. Can’t. Wait!

Sarah said
March 2, 2009 at 10:25 am

Wow, congratulations!! I’ve been reading for a couple weeks now, I’m glad I started reading in time to see the entry to Onederland.

Deb said
March 2, 2009 at 10:30 am

I already posted in my blog about using an old scale here and how it blew my confidence to have a suitcase weighed here and then at the airport as a demonstration of how “off” it was.

Then daughter comes home with her new scale – digital, thanks, and it weighs me in at 10 pounds LESS than the old broken scale I was using. (that was on carpet so don’t know if that tricked it some way???)

I don’t trust scales any more. They are evil and they lie. Could it be you crossed the barrier days ago and your scale KEPT THAT FROM YOU?? Perhaps concerned you’d blithely break up with it and no longer weigh in regularly?

Keep an eye on your scale is all I’m saying. Skynet had to start somewhere.

woze said
March 2, 2009 at 10:31 am

gosh. hooray for you! had i known that your diet consisted of cake and beer, i wouldn’t have let my man talk me out of bringing you a cupcake or a bubble tea when you were at the office yesterday. way to go, charlie!

Pubsgal said
March 2, 2009 at 11:43 am

W00t! And good luck with making it “official!” Hmmm…I had a little cake and beer this weekend myself…guess there’s hope for tomorrow’s weigh in! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Deb, I think you’re onto something. We had a similar problem with our old digital scale: I found on the annual doctor visit one year that it was 20 lbs less than the doctor’s. Ouch! We got an old-school dial scale, and I was doing great with it…until my engineer husband swapped it out with a new digital one. Barrier time. *Sigh*…to think, my own darlin’ man in collusion with the machines.

Jess said
March 2, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Some people lose weight eating cake and drinking beer, others have to catch the stomach flu. Either way, you’re in Onederland!

Biz said
March 2, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Yeah Charlie!! Hope the 190’s are a mainstay for you now!!

Ruth said
March 2, 2009 at 1:50 pm


Not to take anything away from you, but I’m with Deb. I would consider weighing myself once or twice a week for weight maintenance, but NOT for losing weight.

You can change your behavior, but healthy behavior might not particularly translate into weight loss right away (especially if you’re weighing yourself nearly every day).

But, just my 2c’s, and like I said, it takes nothing away from your success.

Kyddryn said
March 2, 2009 at 9:13 pm


Shade and Sweetwater,

Sagan said
March 2, 2009 at 9:37 pm

WOOHOO congrats! I like the big kabam explosion on the graph. It reminds me of the old Batman movies *pow*!

And I totally keep busy as a way to not overeat ๐Ÿ™‚ Lately I’ve been having too much wine, and then I lose a couple pounds. The next day I rehydrate and I’m back up. Damn. Guess I can’t start a wine diet.

PS Your posts kill me. I love them.

Tonibaby said
March 2, 2009 at 11:57 pm


Charlie said
March 3, 2009 at 6:35 am

To All: Thanks for the congrats!

Sarah: I’ve been reading for a couple weeks now, I’m glad I started reading in time to see the entry to Onederland. It’s funny you mention that because I started to think how boring it will be for future fans who didn’t get to enjoy this seven month ride. ๐Ÿ™‚

Deb: I’ve always wondered if carpet throws off scale readings. But ten pounds less on any day is fun. And yes, scales are evil, but I already knew that. What didn’t occur to me was the Skynet connection! It all makes sense now!

Biz: No, I don’t want the 190s to be a mainstay. 180s, here we come!.

Ruth: Can’t not weigh myself everyday. It’s what I do.

Anne (Happy Fun Pants) said
March 3, 2009 at 8:14 am

Justify it however you want, but I was so excited to see you visit Onederland! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m looking forward to reading about how/when you become a permanent resident.

However you got there, it’s going to take work to stay there…and I’m thrilled to be able to cheer you on. ๐Ÿ™‚

Woo hoo! <–it’s a lame cheer, but it’s a cheer none the less. ๐Ÿ™‚

Quix said
March 3, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Yay! Your Friday totally happened to me last February when all I wanted to do was get into onederland myself. Crossing my fingers for you to stay there and keep going! ๐Ÿ™‚

Jennifer said
March 5, 2009 at 11:26 am

Yeah Charlie!!! I knew you could do it.


Cynthia said
March 5, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Good going! But why does the big orange explosion flash look like a popcorn ball?

Love it!

Back to the Fridge » Return to Onederland said
August 3, 2014 at 5:27 pm

[…] was big news when I stepped on the scale in 2009 and my weight began with a “1″ again for the first […]