Dodged a Bullet

bulletMorpheus: I’ve seen an Agent punch through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire clips at them and hit nothing but air. Yet their strength and their speed are still based on a world built on rules. Because of that, they will never be as strong or as fast as you can be.

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?

Morpheus: No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.

It was late Friday evening. No one was home. I had just settled on the sofa with a book when an Agent burst through my front door, gun drawn. Up until that point, I’d only eaten about eighteen hundred calories for the day, and that included treating myself to one and a half ounces of Cheez-Its. Weaponless, I tried to quickly duck behind the couch, but there was nothing I could do. Approaching, the Agent said, “There’s some chocolate chip cookie dough in the fridge. I need you to bake some cookies for me for this weekend.”

Dragged against my will, I had to face one of my greatest fears. Cookie dough. I cracked opened the tub, smiled grimly at the “Zero Grams Trans Fats” proclamation on the side, and stared at the great mass of sugar, fat, flour and chocolate before me. I began spooning dough out of the tub onto ungreased cookie sheets. “One for the cookie sheet…” plop “One for me…” gulp “One for the cookie sheet…” plop “Two for me…” gulp, gulp.

And do you know what the worst part is? Not the fact that I’d been under my calories for the day. Not the fact that I decided to pig out on a few globs of cookie dough. What gets me is I don’t even really like the stuff. I mean, if I want to fall off the wagon, I’d rather do it with a ginormous bag of Ruffles with French onion dip. I’m not a sweets person at all. Yet there I was. About eight hundred calories and two glasses of milk later, I felt awful. The Agent holstered his sidearm, and walked away; his mission accomplished.

bulletI’d been bouncing between 209.5 and 210 all week. The morning after the cookie dough incident, I very reluctantly made my way toward the scale. I wouldn’t have been a bit surprised if it said 224. To my utter astonishment, it said 209.5. “Whoa.”

Onederland Update

Day 70
Starting Weight 224.0
Current Weight 209.5
Change from Last Week -0.5
Lost So Far 14.5
Pounds To Go 10.5

Despite my squeaked-by success on the scale Saturday morning, I fell apart again that afternoon and ate … um, … let’s say … three servings of Kettle Brand crinkle cut Salt & Pepper chips. But I held it together the rest of the day and Sunday’s official weigh still found me at 209.5. I think the lesson learned isn’t that you can dodge a bullet once in a while. It’s that if your diet is strong enough, you won’t have to. I bet this would make a good movie.

7 Responses to “Dodged a Bullet”

Megan said
October 6, 2008 at 6:54 am

Love this post! I think you make a valid point and it goes with the “everything in moderation” motto that I try to adhere to every day!

Dinah Soar said
October 6, 2008 at 11:10 am

I’ve done this before–dodged the bullet–or at least thought I had.

But several days later–all during which I’d been very, very good–much to my dismay I saw the scale rise considerably.

Why my fat doesn’t show up within 24 hours following the overeating is beyond me. Therefore I always hold my breath until several days have passed before considering the bullet dodged.

madison (follow my weigh) said
October 6, 2008 at 2:15 pm

this scenario in this post is all too familiar to me! glad for you about the scale 😀

Biz said
October 6, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Ha! The part about one for the cookie sheet, two for me made me laugh out loud!

I’d much rather have pretzels/chips to cookies/cake any day.

Thanks diabetes!

runjess said
October 6, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Cookie dough is my TRIGGER!

Michele said
October 6, 2008 at 4:01 pm

Thanks for visiting my site, come back soon!

Love the fridge and your site design!!!

Jennifer said
October 9, 2008 at 11:57 am

OMG, I laughed out loud! The problem is then when you dodge the bullet, not once, but twice, you think to yourself, maybe I could do this all the time!

I feel for you Charlie, I’ve been there myself!