Corned Beef Hash

During those vacations where I’ve made up my mind to just eat whatever I want (which, I can assure you, happens no more than eighty or ninety percent of the time) I always look forward to decadent breakfasts. I’m talkin’ pancakes, bacon, hash browns (oh the hash browns), bacon, fried eggs, bacon, and eggs fried in bacon grease.

When I’m feeling particularly naughty, I’ll make a big breakfast bagel sandwich. This is exactly the same as a regular large breakfast outlined above, except that the whole thing is stuffed between two halves of a bagel. I can pull myself around one of those like a snake swallowing a wild boar.

But the pinnacle of breakfast nastiness has to be the corned beef hash. I save this particular treat for just once a year. Twice tops. Maybe six or seven times. But no more than ten. Because of that, I figured it was high time to talk about it here. Which was a great excuse to go to the store and buy some.

That’s just what I did a couple hours ago. On my way home from work, I stopped by HEB to pick up a few needed supplies along with the coveted can o’ hash. Except I couldn’t find it. All the canned goods are basically in the same spot in the store. We’re not talking about twenty square miles of searching here. So where the hell was it?

Is it by the soup? No. Is it a kind of vegetable? It does have potatoes in it. Nope. How about by the chili? Or the canned spaghetti? I know I’ve seen cans of meat around here somewhere. After circling around the canned goods nearly long enough to draw the attention of security, I decided to ask someone. (I know! A guy actually conceding defeat and asking for help! It does happen.) “Yeah, it’s right over here on aisle three,” the man with the helpful smile told me. Aisle three? Are you kidding? I walked aisle three seventeen times. There’s no corned beef hash on — oh, wait, there it is. I quickly grabbed the goods, headed to the self check-out, and drove home.

So now, without further ado, I will show you all how make homemade corned beef hash.

The store had two kinds of hash: the wrong kind and the really wrong kind. Not knowing what to do with this lose-lose situation, I bought both:

You see, the right kind of hash is Mary Kitchen. What we have here is Libby’s and some sort of hash made by aliens who put the Mary Kitchen logo on the can to trick us earthlings into eating it. I’ve never had the Libby’s kind and I’m not sure I’d like it, like it, like it on my table, table, table. So I checked out the other can, just to see what the aliens had done to it. Water. They put water in it to reduce the fat. I don’t understand this. I don’t want to understand this.

But in the end I decided to try the alien hash and only because it had fewer calories and I’m trying to Be Good™.

Now, in order to make homemade hash, do NOT use this device:

The idea is to get the edges crispy and that will never happen in the nuker. Step one! Open the can. Do you see any extra water in here? I don’t. I don’t understand this.

Put it in a non-stick pan and cook over medium heat for minutes and minutes. It has to get hot and it has to crisp up ever so slightly. You don’t want to burn it but you definitely want to take away the dog-foodness of it as much as possible. Heat helps.

When done, put it on a plate:

Nearly every single can of corned beef hash displays the same serving suggestion. Put an egg on it. I didn’t have a fried egg handy and didn’t feel like making one, so I just grabbed the next best thing:

Mmmm… and there you have it: hot, steamy, slightly crispy hash. Breakfast of champions I tell ya. Or, the dinner of bloggers at any rate.

And how was the alien hash? Well, I can’t lie to you. It actually sucked. I kinda knew it would, but I was still hoping it wouldn’t. It tasted weird and definitely wasn’t worth the effort. (But I did save calories!)

Oh, and for the purists out there wondering why I’m calling this homemade corned beef hash? Well, I made it at home, didn’t I?

26 Responses to “Corned Beef Hash”

Christy said
January 27, 2009 at 4:25 am

lol…too funny. I have never had this stuff 🙂

Linda said
January 27, 2009 at 5:46 am


I love me some hash and would not have bothered dabbling in the alien-made stuff.

Kathy said
January 27, 2009 at 5:57 am

I love hash! I like to add a little diced onion to it before cooking it.
Now get that banana off that hash! That is just wrong!

Helen said
January 27, 2009 at 6:38 am

LOLOLOL @ the banana.

My hubby loves him some hash with a runny egg. I think it’s disgusting and now that I’ve had the visual I think I’m right.

NancyB said
January 27, 2009 at 6:49 am

I have to say that it just looks nasty. Mystery meat out of can holds no fascination for me!

Natalia Burleson said
January 27, 2009 at 6:54 am

Funny stuff! Didja eat the nanner too?

Charlie said
January 27, 2009 at 7:59 am

Nope. Saved the nanner for breakfast this morning.

Tom Rooney said
January 27, 2009 at 9:28 am

The breakfast of Kings …..or Smiths, or Jones, or anyone else that lives in your neighborhood. The only thing that can possibly compete with that meal for the hungry may be scrapple. Charlie, you have to do a post on that delicacy too.

Biz said
January 27, 2009 at 9:47 am

Ha! It’s even better heated up in a cast iron skillet – low and slow gets that crispy crust!

Now I know what to have for dinner!

Tuscanystone said
January 27, 2009 at 10:31 am

I have to say that is the most unappetising breakfast I’ve ever seen! I think the dog would turn its nose up at it!! Charlie, I hope you dont mind me saying, but you really eat some shi* !!

Very funny delivery tho 😉

And well done for asking for directions!! lol

Tusc 😀

Lee said
January 27, 2009 at 10:32 am

“you definitely want to take away the dog-foodness of it as much as possible” …something you’d never hear from Ina Garten I suppose.

johngl said
January 27, 2009 at 11:56 am

This really doesn’t qualify as food does it?

Loved the “dog-foodness” line, too.

Jennifer said
January 27, 2009 at 12:02 pm

I laughed so hard when I saw the banana!

Do you remember when I used to put ketchup on my corned beef hash when we were little? Now that’s gross to me now!

Although, I didn’t know there was a reduced fat kind….

Jess said
January 27, 2009 at 12:22 pm

My brother eats that stuff. The memory of the smell is gagging me!

Vicki said
January 27, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Once again you almost made me P my pants due to fits of laughter. I love corned beef hash. I love bananas. Together though, not so much. But I’ve never tried it with the peeling, so who knows? I’m not as inventive as you, I like mine on plain old bread (wheat of course) with mayo (not FF of course).

Jerry/Mom said
January 27, 2009 at 3:24 pm

I had the most yummy crispy corned beef hash this week in Vegas… you know, the vacation breakfast with crunchy hashbrowns, eggs and sourdough toast. There was so much food, I could only eat half of everything. The hash tasted real home-made. Beth says that Mary Kitchen regular canned is pretty good.

Charlie said
January 27, 2009 at 9:15 pm

Oh, the Mary Kitchen regular is definitely the best. I guess I’ll see how the Libby’s turns out. Maybe I’ll eat that after my next fast. That’ll make it taste good.

Suko said
January 27, 2009 at 10:51 pm

Charlie, it’s time to go on a healthy, organic diet. If they don’t sell organic hash (and they probably don’t), then try some old-fashioned oatmeal with raisins (almost as good as oatmeal raisin cookies, I kid you not) which takes about five minutes to cook and tastes great.

Charlie said
January 27, 2009 at 10:56 pm

Oh I tried oatmeal. Didn’t have much luck.


Suko said
January 28, 2009 at 12:39 am

Okay, I just saw your oatmeal post–it’s VERY FUNNY. But ya gotta try real old-fashioned oats, made with water or soymilk, and raisins for sweetness.

cindy said
January 29, 2009 at 11:26 am

I tried to cook this for my husband the other morning. It was not crispy. I ate it, he did not. I felt really bad because I know it is like a heartattack in a can. 🙁

quix said
January 29, 2009 at 10:15 pm

I remembered corn beef hash fondly from childhood and picked up a can at the grocery store and looked at the nutritional info – and promptly put it back. Eep! It sounds good though, sorry the alien stuff didn’t hit the spot…

megan said
February 1, 2009 at 7:37 pm

Your a brave man Charlie!

Elizabeth said
May 31, 2009 at 11:51 pm

When I was a little girl Mom use to cook this one day a week. I ate it for years, I can even stand it now. Sorry.

Jimmy said
December 4, 2014 at 3:23 pm

The low fat version sucks! Libby’s is pretty good. I can dog a whole can no problem.

Donna said
December 30, 2015 at 6:38 pm

Canned corn beeg hash from Hormel! Bleh! :- &