Carnival Pizza

If you’re not eating out at a restaurant and you’re not ordering in and you’re not at a friends house, yet you’re still not eating your own food, well, then you must be on a cruise.

A little over five years ago the family decided to go on a cruise. The kids were a bit younger then and had never seen a boat that large. They were initially excited about the prospect, although in hindsight, we probably shouldn’t have rented Titanic the night before we left.

We chose a short trip (four days, three nights) for two reasons: 1) to keep the price down; and 2) well, what if we didn’t like it? It’d be terrible to get stuck on a big boat for days and days and hate it. (Hate it and continue to pay for it. Might as well just stay home and pay taxes instead.)

However, if I’d only known what was in store for me, I think I would have booked a thirty day cruise. Because what I didn’t realize at the time is that Carnival Cruise Lines serves pizza. All the time. For free.

Did you catch that?

Pizza. All the time. For free.

No matter what you’re doing, no matter where you are, no matter what time is it, you can just run up to the pizza counter and yell, “Pepperoni, dammit!” And dammit if pepperoni pizza doesn’t appear out of nowhere. Want two slices? No problem. Twenty? Sure, why not! You’re on vacation so why not live a little.

Cruise Damage
Before Weight 189.5
After Weight 195.5
Change +6.0

Or a lot. Here are my stats from that week. The first date was November 25. The second date was December 2. As you can tell, I didn’t think twice about ordering twenty slices of pizza at a time. What’s also interesting about this period is that less than one short month later, I left Onederland for the first time since April of 2001. So in a lot of ways, this Carnival Pizza is what eventually started me on my Return to Onederland. Let that be a lesson to you all.

I think for this year’s family vacation I’ll stick to the plan. It’s just not worth it. Besides, what could be more relaxing than heading to the east coast, renting Jaws, then chartering a fishing boat the next morning?

5 Responses to “Carnival Pizza”

Kelly said
May 8, 2009 at 12:49 am

My folks invited us (my then 15 year old daughter and I) on a 30 day cruise. It was incredible. I managed to keep my weight near where I started, but wall to wall food options were a challenge!!

We were on Holland America and the pizza was meh. Although the ice cream was OMG, and I was completely smitten with the brats by the pool.

However, I was and had been a vegetarian for 3 years before the cruise…I don’t know what it was, but it has been 5 years and I still haven’t returned to that lifestyle. Ugh.

Quix said
May 8, 2009 at 12:00 pm

I love cruises. I gained 6 lbs on my last one as well, but I lost it within a week of being back home (and the next week was even thanksgiving, to boot). Last time, I only had the pizza once, but many times did I get a french fry afternoon snack or eat at the midnight buffet when I was plenty full from dinner. I also ran all but one day and did weights twice.

Ok, time to start looking into booking another cruise next year…it’s all your fault! 🙂

Tom Rooney said
May 8, 2009 at 12:36 pm

You didn’t say if the pizza was any good. Or, was it good because there was lots of it and it was free?

Biz said
May 8, 2009 at 4:22 pm

I have no desire to go on a cruise – I’ve seen pictures of the trips Mom has taken and not only is it wall to wall food, but wall to wall people too!

Just run up and down Marty and Dave’s big hill a few times a day when you are at the lake!

Joanie said
May 8, 2009 at 5:29 pm

The best vacation I ever took was a 10 night cruise with my friend, Tina. We calle dit our “Just Divorced” Cruise. I gained 7 pounds on that cruise and I enjoyed every single one of them! And you know what? I do it again tomorrow if I could!