Say Anything

say-anythingDiane: So we started spending all this time together, as friends. But, I could feel him getting anxious, and then I knew that there would be a confrontation over getting physical. And he started to get that look at the end of the night. Do you know that look?

Diane’s Father: [nods, knowingly]

Diane: And then you know it’s going to be an issue. So I went through all the different feelings and all the different arguments you’re supposed to go through.

Diane’s Father: Did he ever get rough with you?

Diane: Dad, no. But I didn’t want any problems, so I decided not to sleep with him.

Dad looks relieved

Diane: But then I attacked him anyway.

A week ago today, a scene almost exactly like this one played out in my kitchen. In fact, right after it happened, this exchange from Say Anything immediately popped into my head. (Because that’s what happens when you watch a movie too many times.) Anyway, here’s how it played out for me:

Charlie: So we started spending all this time together, as friends. You know, just me and the Doritos. But, I could feel them getting anxious, and then I knew that there would be a confrontation over getting physical. And the Doritos started to get that look at the end of the night. Do you know that look?

Charlie’s Imaginary Friend: [nods, knowingly]

Charlie: And then you know it’s going to be an issue. So I went through all the different feelings and all the different arguments you’re supposed to go through. “Should I eat them? Should I leave them alone? Should I just set the Doritos on fire so it’s never an issue again?”

Charlie’s Imaginary Friend: Did they ever get rough with you?

Charlie: No. But I didn’t want any problems, so I decided not to eat them.

Imaginary Friend looks relieved

Charlie: But then I gobbled them down anyway.

It’s true. It really happened just like this. I was fixing a plate for dinner and the bag was just sitting there on the counter top. I thought, “Hmmm… well, I could have just one serving. That’s not going to kill me.” So I dragged out the scale, weighed out thirty teasing grams of corn chips covered in orange dust, and put them on my plate. At that point I thought, “No. You don’t need them, Charlie, just put them back.” And I did. Dumped them right into the bag, where they belonged.

But before I knew it, after taking one bite of my Slobby Joe sandwich, my hand, seemingly under its own volition, dove right into the bag and brought a fistful of those things right up to my mouth. Crunch, crunch, crunch. I then proceeded to eat an estimated three servings of those things.

*sigh*

Day 133
Starting Weight 224.0
Current Weight 202.5
Change from Last Week -3.0
Lost So Far 21.5
Pounds To Go 3.5

Anyway, that’s the bad news. The good news is so good I can hardly keep it in. Check the hell out of this week’s stat box. Like so many times before, I hit a new low the day before weigh in. Like so few times before, I didn’t blow it that night. Not only did I not blow it, but I lost one more pound to boot. The last time I weighed 202.5 was December 14, 2005: nearly three years ago.

Of course, pounds aren’t ever really lost. They have an uncanny way of being found. So I’m still proceeding with caution, especially given the fact that we’re not out of the Holiday Woods yet. Still, I’ll take what I can get! There ain’t been a holiday season like this for me ever. If you’re sitting near a block of wood, knock on it for me.

That’s about it for this week, but before I go, I got a question. If you guys know so much about Doritos, how come you’re here at like the Gas ‘n’ sip on a Saturday night completely alone, drinking beers, no Doritos anywhere?

By choice, man!



17 Responses to “Say Anything”

Christy said
on
December 8, 2008 at 1:17 am

You are just too funny. You and I have similar problems. My problem is chocolate. I hear it calling my name at all hours of the day.

Tuscanystone said
on
December 8, 2008 at 6:07 am

Awesome Charlie. 3lbs in one week in December, is just awesome!! You rock!!

Onederland by 2009?? ;o)

Tusc 🙂

petunia said
on
December 8, 2008 at 6:57 am

Whoah! Nice work!

Don’t get me started on Doritos. Jeez. It doesn’t help that they’ve come out with all these er, interesting new flavors like blue cheese and buffalo wings, and oh I don’t know… and that my husband likes to have them around from time to time, so I go through the same process!

Best of luck to you this week!

Rachael said
on
December 8, 2008 at 7:07 am

Fortunately, as I’ve gotten healthier, my husband has too. So we really don’t even have chips around any more except for the tortilla kind for the occasional dipping in salsa. 🙂

Rachael said
on
December 8, 2008 at 7:07 am

Oh, and I meant to say: Really good job on the 3 lbs Charlie!!

Anonymous said
on
December 8, 2008 at 7:37 am

Oh wow…that conversation/scenario happens almost daily at my house. Sometimes also at work…or at a friends house…

Funny 🙂

Megan said
on
December 8, 2008 at 8:22 am

Fun post! Awesome weight loss Charlie!

Deborah said
on
December 8, 2008 at 8:55 am

I have that same kind of relationship with Doritos too.

Congrats on the -3#!!!!!!!

Keep it up and you’ll be at goal by Christmas. You only have 20 days to do it in!! What a wonderful Christmas present that would be to you from you!!

Susan said
on
December 8, 2008 at 9:16 am

I came here after your comment on my blog, (thank you)! What a GREAT site you have. I’m intrigued and will be coming back frequently. Maybe you can even help me lose some weight…no pressure!

Tammy said
on
December 8, 2008 at 9:18 am

Woo!

Great job on the loss!
I lost a fight with some fun size Snickers just the same way over the weekend…

Biz said
on
December 8, 2008 at 9:32 am

Good job Charlie!

Chips are always my downfall, and pretzels. I can walk by cake, cookies all day – no problem!

You’ll be jealous I am going to Big Bowl for lunch today! Happy Monday!

Kit said
on
December 8, 2008 at 9:50 am

Ice cream. I have confrontations with ice cream. I lose. (But it’s oh, so delicious!)

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I’m afraid my past content isn’t easily sorted. I need to fix that. Hope you enjoyed your visit, anyway!

And congratulations on your stats! That’s excellent.

Tom Rooney said
on
December 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm

3 pounds is fantastic Charlie.

I used to have this problem with M&M’s.

(If you drop one on the floor is that just an M or an M&M?)

I say used to, because I won’t let them in the door any more. The peanut ones were the worse. Sure those bright little colors just sit there with their pretty coated shells, all the while enticing me to grab one, or 2 or twenty. I had to break it off as it’s the best thing for both of us.

Charlie said
on
December 8, 2008 at 2:39 pm

petunia: The myriad of Dorito flavors is most awesome, and frustrating at times.

Susan and Kit: Welcome!

Tom I’ve always addressed the individual candy piece as “M”.

runjess said
on
December 8, 2008 at 2:43 pm

And over the holidays too. Kudos!

Christie said
on
December 8, 2008 at 10:28 pm

Is it just me or are you losing more weight since you resigned to just maintain? Maybe I should try this…

Back to the Fridge » Now That’s More Like It said
on
December 15, 2008 at 12:03 am

[…] was the best of weeks. It was the worst of weeks. After last week’s three pound drop, I figured that was probably just a fluke and things would snap back to normal. […]