Things I Don’t Understand

Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve always considered myself slightly smarter than the average bear. I primarily watch history and science shows on television. I know off the top of my head that the gamma factor in relativity theory is equal to one over the square root of one minus v-squared over c-squared. And I can put my pants on all by myself.

But I have to admit there are a few things I’ve never understood and I don’t think I ever will. Here’s a partial list:

  • How did Ebeneezer Scrooge get so rich when his entire job seemed to consist no more than of sitting in a dusty office writing lines in a book? Who actually paid him to do that and how rich was that guy?
  • I’ve studied aeronautical engineering, have flown flight simulators, and had at least one real life airplane under my complete control for at least five minutes. I still don’t understand how air rushing over the top of the wing faster than the bottom makes it go up.
  • Why does my car go 300 miles on the first half tank of gas and only twenty miles on the second half?
  • Air molecules rushing into the vacuum formed by a lightning bolt simply cannot sound like thunder.
  • Why can I have two entire weeks of eating around 2,000 calories a day or less, then on one day I accidentally eat 3,200 calories and I gain three and a half pounds overnight?
  • And why can I get right back on the program and it takes another two weeks to lose it?
  • Seriously … why?

Here’s what a great week looks like. Had I posted last Monday, instead of taking a lazy day off, you would have seen this chart:

I even hit 194 in there again. Then I go and eat too much that one stupid day. Just one day, mind you, and this is what happens:

Yeah, yeah. Probably too much salt. Probably retaining water. Probably bad karma. I’ve heard it all. So that doesn’t explain why hopping right back on the wagon for another week results in this. See? I was getting right back on track then BAM! it’s up again:

The worst part? Look at the net result of this two weeks:

Week 44
Starting Weight 224.0
Current Weight 196.4
Change from Two Weeks Ago -0.2
Lost So Far 27.6

Oh well. It’s not like I’m surprised. I mean, I’ve been at this for nearly twenty years now. It’s not like I haven’t seen weigh in weirdness before. So I just look at it this way: I’m still in Onederland. Plus, I did hit the 30 pound mark again (oddly enough on Day 300: something a numbers geek like me got a smile out of). And eventually I’ll think 194 is a big number. Even an old humbug like Scrooge would be impressed.

17 Responses to “Things I Don’t Understand”

BigFatPie said
June 1, 2009 at 6:01 am

sooooo experiencing weigh in weirdness right now – good to know I’m not alone, though I feel for you in your frustratioN!

Tuscanystone said
June 1, 2009 at 6:41 am

Why? Cos scales are the devils spawn!

lol you are so funny Mr Onderland. No wonder I pop by here most days,

Tusc 😉

Roni said
June 1, 2009 at 7:55 am

I’m not one to talk as I was a daily scale reader myself BUUUUUUT as mom always said, “Do as I say not as I do.”

Just like blog stats, the scale is not meant to be analyzed every single day or you will catch that new contagious disease floating around, swine flu, errr I mean datadoubtingitus.


    Charlie said
    June 1, 2009 at 9:49 am

    And, as you know, I will continue to weight and log and analyze and doubt it every single day. You might as well tell me to will my own hair to start growing back again. 🙂

meg said
June 1, 2009 at 8:39 am

I love all your graphs and the analysis you do of your weight loss…reminds me of an e-mail you sent me about blog stats way back when!

Congrats on staying in Wonderland!

Deb said
June 1, 2009 at 11:06 am

I can tell you this much – if I could control my eating between 8:30 and 10:30 PM as well as I do the rest of the day I’d be obnoxiously thin. (rich and famous apparently take other types of effort – whatEVER!)

I don’t typically have a day where I over-eat I have a daily time span where my brain turns OFF and my appetite turns ON. If I can stay busy or somehow keep out of the kitchen during those two nighttime hours enough days in a row my weight loss work is done.

But I don’t. So it isn’t. I am sure it is some metabolic/psychic hybrid thingie. Maybe I’ll get time locks installed on the refrigerator and cabinets.

Shelley B said
June 1, 2009 at 12:12 pm

My car gets the exact same gas mileage as yours!

Kelly said
June 1, 2009 at 12:21 pm

I wish I knew! I trust that if you gain some insight you will pass it on.

Quix said
June 1, 2009 at 1:13 pm

My car has 10 pips on it’s gas gauge, and a 10 gallon tank, and gets about 40ish miles per gallon (yes, I have a Prius just like every 3rd Austinite). My first gallon somehow gets like 100 miles to the gallon according to the gauge. If it really did that, all I’d have to do is top my car off every week and I’d be gas mileage queen!

I empathize. I’ve been working out 8-10 hours a week for this crazy half marathon training and not eating *too* horribly…and I’ve gained 2-3 lbs. Sigh. Oh well. Good luck getting back down to 194, and if you keep at it, indeed, 194 will be a high number someday.

Suzie said
June 1, 2009 at 3:32 pm

Because the scale sucks and life doesn’t make sense 🙂

Our bodies are soooo complicated! I wish we would just evolve already and our bodies would realize the chances of famine are slim to none and that fat is not an evolutionary advantage. It’s survival of the “fittest” right?

Sagan said
June 1, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Our bodies are so fickle.

Charlie said
June 1, 2009 at 3:58 pm

I forgot to add one more thing to the list of things I don’t understand:

How the heck did it get to be June already?

(I won’t bother asking how the heck did it get to be 2009 already!)

Biz said
June 1, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Ha – great post Charlie. I weighed in after NOT weighing in for a month, and only lost two lousy pounds.

I, of course, know what I did wrong – maybe a bit too much cheese, not enough workouts and maybe a few too many glasses of wine passed my lips!

On to the second have of 2009 being mine!

Sancho said
June 1, 2009 at 11:56 pm

I can answer one of your questions: Scrooge was a money-lender. He made loans and mortgages at high interest rates, and ruthlessly collected the interest or the collateral if people didn’t pay. He and poor overworked Bob Crachit were always updating the account books, keeping track of who owed how much and who was falling behind in his/her payments. That’s partly why everyone hated him and was afraid of him, because he wasn’t a good guy to owe money to.

Nowadays, of course, Scrooge would be running Citibank – and he’d have been smart enough not to need a government bailout!

And yes, eventually you *will* think of 194 as a big number!

Jenn@slim-shoppin said
June 2, 2009 at 12:47 pm

I agree with all those things that are peculiar!

But, I can also say, you are doing great at keeping your weight within a few pounds of your lowest!

You are still in Onederland!!

AmyC said
June 2, 2009 at 11:36 pm

Looks like it’s the weekends that are messing up your diet. Do what I do and stay in bed for those 48 hours. Only leave for the bathroom and to find your laptop cable 🙂

    Charlie said
    June 3, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    Sounds like a great plan. Actually, my big problem right now is the one we all have: eating 80% of the day’s calories between 8pm and 10pm. >:^(