Eating Out Tips

Dieters face few challenges greater than a trip to a restaurant. Eating out is (or should be) an occasion and therefore, by definition, isn’t the place to hold back. Unfortunately, eating out is sometimes a necessary evil and you’d be hard-pressed to find greater temptation anywhere. (Yeah … nothing like paddling against the current for a week and then trying to use willpower to not climb on that motorboat.)

So to help you out through this difficult time, I’ve compiled this list:

  1. Look the menu over carefully. If you simply cannot find anything to suit your diet, just order water with a slice of lemon. Because, yeah, that’s the same thing as the burrito supreme.
  2. After the maitre d’ seats you and your waiter comes over to list the specials, stop him and ask, “Where am I?” If he replies, “McDonald’s” then you should go somewhere else.
  3. Today’s portion sizes are large. Find out if it’s okay to split the cheeseburger between you and your twelve friends.
  4. When ordering a salad, always make sure you get the dressing on the side. If you’re asked specifically which side, I recommend the side of the road.
  5. Pizza can actually be a healthy food! When asked what toppings you’d like, be sure leave off the pepperoni, sausage, chicken, ham, bacon, pineapple, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, cheese, and sauce. Ask about their low-fat, low-carb crusts.
  6. Restaurants delight in hiding bad foods behind frilly words. In the dish descriptions, steer clear when you see terms like, fried, crispy, creamy, juicy, wonderful, delicious, tantalizing, heavenly, savory, etc.

There you go. You’ll thank me later.

5 Responses to “Eating Out Tips”

Kathy said
September 26, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I will never order salad dressing “on the side” ever again without thinking of this post!!! Now I just have to remember not to blurt out “which side?” and chuckle like a certain presidential candidate does after telling a “witty” little joke!

Candy said
September 26, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Love the tips! Especially number 3–I needed that at lunch today.

HangryPants said
September 27, 2008 at 11:18 am

What a funny, yet true post, I love the idea to split a burger with your 12 friends. It’s so true, but ya know what, people sometimes look at me like I’m the crazy one when I want to split things or get dressing on the side (of the road).

Erin said
September 28, 2008 at 9:21 am

I love this blog. You’re hilarious!
Sometimes I call ahead and just ask, “Can your waitstaff accommodate me?”

Back to the Fridge » Eating Out Tips #3 said
April 17, 2009 at 12:00 am

[…] First One […]