When I Grow Up

firemanWhen I was about five or so, one of the supreme highlights of my week was garbage collection day. With utter fascination, I’d watch that big truck rumble ’round the corner. Enthralled, I gazed in awe at the men jumping off a moving vehicle for Pete’s sake, grabbing garbage cans and throwing their contents into the masher. The masher! Oh, sweet cornflakes! That thing could crush anything. What I wouldn’t have given to borrow that for an afternoon.

This job made quite an impression on me. When asked by various grown-ups what I wanted to be when I ultimately joined their ranks, I proudly stated, “I want to be a garbage!” Not a garbage man, mind you. Just a garbage.

What I find most intriguing about the whole “when I grow up” deal is the difference in perception between those who’ve already growed up and those not yet there. When you’re young, you just assume there’s this point where you leave childhood behind and then presto! you’re an adult. However, after you cross the line into adulthood (which I define as, “can rent a car using one’s own credit card”) you realize there is no magical point. None. Worse, you realize there’s no such thing as adulthood at all. The only thing that changes is your requirement to pay taxes. Inside, you don’t actually feel any different from a year ago. Or a year before that. Or ten years before that. In fact, from your mind’s eye, you haven’t changed one bit since kindergarten.

I’ve identified three basic types of grown-ups:

  1. Those who are actually doing what they actually want to actually do and actually enjoy it. This is probably Warren Buffet and Danny Elfman.
  2. Those who know what they want to do but can’t seem to get a real shot at it. This is probably the majority of us, though I have absolutely no data to back that up. We’re the people who would love to make millions of dollars a year designing paper airplanes, but there’s no serious market for it.
  3. Those who have no idea what they want to do, period. This is probably the other majority of us. We kinda think we’d sorta like to maybe do something different, but we don’t know.

Me, I’m firmly in that second group, though admittedly the “what I want to do” has changed over the years. I think this state is summed up best by this Cyanide and Happiness strip:

dreams

Check that out. The kid sees someone flipping burgers. Makes it his dream. But his dream fades as he grows and eventually it’s all but lost. What’s so poignant about this is he’s a dang astronaut and yet all he ever really wanted was to flip burgers. And that sums it up, doesn’t it? No matter how awesome your job is, you really want to be doing something else, even if your job is the envy of many. Millions of people look up to Bill Gates as the success story to end all success stories, yet he probably sits at home and thinks, “I’d sure wish I could make paper airplanes for a living.”

So what do you want to be when you grow up? I don’t care if you’re eight or eighty, leave your answer in the comments below. I’ll start it off: Let’s see… I considered architecture for a while. Then music. Then some sort of art/design field. Then probably music again. (I bet I would have been a pretty good jazz pianist by now if I’d just stuck with it back in 1988.) I actually am a software developer, but I won’t bore you with that. By now, though, some of you may have noticed I enjoy stringing words together in certain patterns to elicit various emotional responses from those reading the words. It was 1993 when I realized I like to write and I’ve been working on that, in one form or another, for fifteen years now. So there. I said it. I want to be a writer.

I’m thinking my next book will be about garbage men.

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31 Responses to “When I Grow Up”

  1. Stephanie said
    on
    November 5, 2008 at 2:45 pm
  2. Christie said
    on
    November 6, 2008 at 1:59 am