It’s with mingled happiness, excitement, sorrow, and regret that I announce Diet #115 has begun. Before Back to the Fridge went off on a five-week diet soft drink adventure, I had embarked on Diet 113C. In that post I talked about how all my ambitious, post-holiday diet plans crashed and burned right out of the gate.
I then launched Diets 113D, 113E, and 113F on each subsequent day after that post. And you may be asking yourself, why the alphabet soup? Why so many versions of Diet 113?
Well, mostly because I never felt like I went off it. The typical cycle goes like this:
- Get previous Diet Number.
- Increment Diet Number.
- Announce Diet Number to the Internets.
- Have a successful run.
- Gain it all back.
- Go to Step One.
But the thing is, after starting Diet 113, I never gained it all back. I gained some back here and there, of course. But mostly I’d just hit a rut, and neither gain nor lose for some weeks until I’d try something to kick start things.
Christmas 2014 was different though. No, I still didn’t “gain it all back.” But I also wasn’t getting back on the program very easily. At all. That’s when I realized it was time to put last year’s Diet 113 behind me, pack my bags, and move to a remote part of the world where I would sustain myself on tree bark and rain water for a year. Then I’d see some results.
That was Diet 114. It lasted six minutes and I suspected that this number was probably cursed. So I leap-frogged it and went straight to 115.
How’s it going? Well, not too bad. It’s still too early to tell, of course. But I’m pretty sure I’ll have a successful run, stop, gain it all back, and then go to Step One before it’s all over.
Nope, nope, nope. Not this time. Because this time is different. How? Well, turn in to our next earth-shattering episode to find out.