What the Bleep?

pinkpatchNo, I haven’t suddenly started running ads for dubious weight loss products. This unfortunate picture is actually the subject of this post.

When browsing the interwebs, you don’t have to click too many links before you run across this little gem. Every time I see it I think a tiny piece of my soul is sucked out. There is so much wrong here I’m not sure where to begin.

pinkpatch2Okay. Let’s start with the obvious. I like shooting fish in a barrel as much as the next fish-shooter, so how ’bout we talk about that model. This is a weight loss patch, right? I don’t think that means it’s designed for people with a BMI of 12. And why stop with the skinny model? Why not run this ad? They both need to lose about the same amount of weight. All they’re doing is preying on the insecurities of persons fixated on the wrong body image. Somebody call Captain Obvious. This is not something I would file under “helpful.”

Next on the Peeve List? A simple question I’d like to ask the makers of this product: are you serious? A patch. You put a patch on and lose weight. What the bleep’s going on here? Well, I’ll tell you. Essentially this patch allows various, magical ingredients to seep into your body. At best, these ingredients only possess loose claims over appetite suppression and metabolic stimulation. It rather looks to me like the company is picking and choosing their “talking points” and ignoring everything else. It’s like saying, “Since chocolate cake is made with milk, you can get all the benefits of milk by eating chocolate cake.” This didn’t work for Bill Cosby. It won’t work for you.

If the fact that it’s obviously targeted at young women with unhealthy body images and it contains no useful ingredients weren’t enough, consider the rest of my bleep list: it’s not approved by the FDA, there are no valid clinical studies supporting the company’s claims, and they provide no real health or weight loss guidelines. Our mothers, once again, have been proven right: if it sounds to good to be true, run the extreme opposite direction.

I’m nearly done beating this dead horse, but before I go, how about we look at the fine print? You and I both have all been around long enough to know that the real humor lies in the fine print. If I may quote from The Pink Patch’s own web site:

For best results use as part of a low-calorie, low fat meal plan & exercise program.

Oh really? Gee, now there’s an eye-opener. Eat a low calorie diet, start exercising, spend fifty bucks a month for a placebo, and you may lose weight.

Where do I sign?



15 Responses to “What the Bleep?”

HangryPants said
on
November 13, 2008 at 4:34 am

Ugh, I totally agree with you. Aside from the strangeness of a weight loss patch, the fact that it is targeted, as you said, at young women with unhealthy body images is just disgusting. Way to endorse eating disorders and poor body image pink patch!!!!!!

Tom Rooney said
on
November 13, 2008 at 6:08 am

Great, great observation Charlie.

The advertising media at times has lost its head. A similar ad not too long ago is where you glue a strip of paper to the bottom of your feet and during the night it drags the toxins from your body. Who comes up with this stuff?

Cammy said
on
November 13, 2008 at 6:23 am

Amen! I’m beyond laughing at these things.

Kyddryn said
on
November 13, 2008 at 6:35 am

Ahem…if you buy their claims, I have a lovely bridge to sell you…

It is a tremendous irritation to me to see the various advertisements for weight-loss product making wild claims…and then, at the bottom of the screen, there’s the disclaimer telling the potential purchaser “Only if used in conjunction with our specially formulated diet…”

Well, duh!

As obscene as it is to market to young, insecure women, encouraging their body dismorphic disorder, bulimia, and anorexia…it’s just as awful to prey on people who are struggling, worn down, or ready to give up entirely on weight loss because they feel lost or just don’t know any better.

Not to mention the very minor fact that many herbal supplements (regulated or not) are easy to misuse and can cause some serious health issues.

Shame, shame, shame on these predatory companies.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who didn’t get fat by taking a pill, so she won’t get fit that way, either)

Helen said
on
November 13, 2008 at 6:52 am

I don’t think this is marketed to women at all. I think it’s marketed to men. Men who will either suggest to their SO that they should buy this stupid thing or who will buy it and slap it on their SO’s butt while they sleep.

tokaiangel said
on
November 13, 2008 at 7:39 am

I must admit when I first glanced at Pink Patch ads during my internet forays (love the way facebook and yahoo always choose to show me ALL the diet ads coz of the sites I visit – scary marketing tactics to an already dysmorphic girl) I thought initially they were something to do with breast cancer awareness month. I died a little inside when I read on.

TA x

Megan said
on
November 13, 2008 at 7:57 am

I agree with everything you said. I will always believe that the best and easiest way to weight loss is the natural way!

Rachael said
on
November 13, 2008 at 8:42 am

“Since chocolate cake is made with milk, you can get all the benefits of milk by eating chocolate cake.” This didn’t work for Bill Cosby. It won’t work for you.

Awesome reference! I actually laughed at my computer screen when I read that.

Stephanie said
on
November 13, 2008 at 10:51 am

I too was laughing at my computer screen, but not actually at Charlie’s writing so much as at myself.

There’s a sucker born every day, and I am that sucker.

I love the aforementioned foot pads (seem to help me sleep, thank you placebo). I’ve bought the patch (didn’t do much). Hell, I even bought BodyFlex (Is that actually breathing she’s doing???).

*sigh* And I’m still dieting 🙂

Biz319 said
on
November 13, 2008 at 11:18 am

I hadn’t seen that before! Guess I’ve been living under a rock!

Charlie said
on
November 13, 2008 at 11:31 am

K: “who didn’t get fat by taking a pill, so she won’t get fit that way, either.” That’s a great line.

Tom and Stephanie: one skeptical of the foot suckers one for whom it worked. I believe both of you. (Mostly because Stephanie had the answer herself: the placebo effect. It is real.)

Helen: Scary, but probably true.

tokaiangel: I didn’t think about that. You’re right! They usurped the Pink!

Rachael: I was really hoping someone would!

Biz: Get out from under that rock! (And ask Tony if he’s seen it before.)

honi said
on
November 13, 2008 at 12:26 pm

U are spot on with that.. the patch.. the pill.. you name it whatever gimmicky trick is out there is always aimed at the woman.. who does not need it.. apparently the women or men who could use a product like that ( should it actually work) are far to smart to waste their hard earned cash on crap..

runjess said
on
November 13, 2008 at 2:28 pm

So nice to see a man address this ad and be just as outraged.

Natalia Burleson said
on
November 13, 2008 at 3:28 pm

No wonder our young women have such poor body image! You can’t turn a corner without some sort of miracle diet product being shoved in your face! We need to start commercials like the truth campaign against cigarette companies!

Jen said
on
November 13, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Thanks for the rant! Loved it. I agree with everything you said. Do people really think these things work? There is no easy way to lose weight. Just good old fashioned hard work!