..."Uh oh, Spaghettios!
Life is full of small pleasures if you know where to look. And if for some reason you don’t know where to look, then I suggest trying the canned food aisle at your local grocery store. There you just might find bliss in a small red, white, and yellow can.
Spaghettios (which, for some reason, my spellchecker desperately wants to change to either “Spaceflights” or “Ferlinghetti”) definitely counts as one of life’s little pleasures. But take heed! You must prepare and consume them correctly, for if you do otherwise, you might incur the wrath of those creepy, rosy-cheeked Campbell’s kids. So print this out for future reference:
Step 1. Pour contents of the can (presumably after opening said can) into a sauce pan and heat them on the stove. There’s a reason these particular instructions are listed above the last-ditch, I-ain’t-got-no-time microwave instructions. It’s because … um … because … well, I have no idea. So, I guess go ahead and throw them in the microwave because let’s face it, you ain’t got no time to do it right.
Step 2. But you do have time to take care of this all-important next step: toast. That’s right, toast. You need to make at least two pieces but I recommend up to sixteen if you really want to get the job done right. I like to slather mine in a few tablespoons of I Can’t Believe This Is That Cheap Butter Substitute.
Step 3. With the Spag-Os in the bowl and toast in hand, put the noodles and sauce directly on a corner of the toast and bite. Yes, that’s right. I said eat them together. Repeat as necessary.
Step 4. With the noodles and sauce and toast all gone, eat the meatballs. Wait a minute. Don’t tell me you ate the meatballs in Step 3. No, you must save them until the end. Okay, okay, you can have a couple while eating, but having that big bowl of meatballs at the end is the best. What? What do you mean you didn’t buy the kind with meatballs? You’re saying you bought the plain Cheese Sauce Plus Calcium version? What’s wrong with you? Meatballs! Oh well, at least you’ll know better next time.
If anyone knows of any bliss greater than this, let me know below…
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on October 14, 2008 at 4:43 am
Oh boy…the childhood spaghettios memories are flooding back now! YUM!
on October 14, 2008 at 10:24 am
I still love spaghettios too, but I haven’t had them in a long time – lots of grams of sugar and 64 grams of carbs for the whole can!
But boy, on buttered toast there is nothing better!
on October 14, 2008 at 11:31 am
I not only like it with toast, but you can do the same thing with Doritos!
Yummy!!
on October 14, 2008 at 12:11 pm
My father would call that _____ on a _____.
For my money, nothing is more blissful than a cold vanilla cupcake w/ buttercream frosting… but I suppose that’s pretty anti-Onederland =\
on October 14, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Actually, the cold vanilla cupcake would be great for getting back to Onederland. (If you’re currently 85 pounds.)
on October 14, 2008 at 2:18 pm
lol!!
on October 14, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I used to love spaghetti’os!
And I had to google Ferlinghetti, and it came up with a poet. Who knew?
on October 15, 2008 at 9:42 am
Macaroni and cheese with tuna and hot sauce. Prepare 1 package Kraft macaroni and cheese (plain, basic kind). Add 1 can of drained tuna. 3 oz is best, but 6 oz works. Add a couple teaspoons of really hot hot sauce (Yucatan Sunshine is easily available and sufficiently hot).
Eat with a spoon.
It ends up being something like 1200 or 1500 calories, but man it’s tasty.
on October 16, 2008 at 8:38 pm
My first college roommate ate this. It always smelled like metal to me.
on October 16, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Mmmm… metal pasta.
on October 19, 2008 at 10:00 am
I ate Spag-Os. Once.
I was invited to a friends house for dinner when I was a child of about 8. I was excited because, in those days, my mom always insisted the family eat dinner together. I apparently whined just long and loud enough to get my way.
I helped my buddy with his evening chores: feeding the chickens and cows and collecting eggs. The eggs came from the chickens, not the cows.
My friends were having grilled steaks. Corn-fed Iowa beef. They smelled great.
When it was time to have dinner, us kids got to enjoy some cans of Spaghettios (like it was something “special”). I was crushed.
I never asked to go to that friend’s house for dinner again.
on October 20, 2008 at 10:45 am
My mom made spaghetti every Tuesday so that canned childhood delight was out of the question at our house. What rang my chimes was those chicken pot pies I got to have when my parents were going out. The double crust kind with lots of potatoes and hardly anything else but a few paltry carrots swimming in chicken sauce. Mmmmmmm chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pies!
on November 10, 2008 at 11:16 am
As a kid, I loved Spaghettio sandwiches – take 1 slice of soft bread, spread Blue Bonnet margarine on it, and carefully spoon the hot spaghettios from your bowl to the bread, fold over, and enjoy the melty margarine blending with the spaghettios…BLISS!!! Repeat until all the O’s are gone.
As a parent, I tried to introduce my two sons to the delights of a spaghettios sandwich, but they never loved it as much as I did. They were of the chicken nugget generation, I guess.
Oh, and I agree with another commenter – they DO smell like metal sometimes!
on December 7, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Spaghettios are amazing! I don’t care what you say, they taste amazing right out of the can! I eat at least five cans each day at work! Spaghettios make life taste good!