I’m Lovin’ It

old-mcdonaldsAs I stumbled down memory lane last week, another restaurant came to mind. That’s right. I’m talking about Red Lobster. (Red Lobster?) Oh. Did I say Red Lobster? I meant McDonald’s. I get those two mixed up all the time.

Now I’m quite aware of the issues surrounding this particular restaurant chain. The food sucks, it’s unhealthy, there are environmental issues, the food sucks, etc. But remember, I’m talking about the McDonald’s located at 1407 Memory Lane, Anytown, USA. When you’re eight years old, it’s a completely different story.

And speaking of a story…

McDonald’s was started by … well, the McDonalds, believe it or not. Dick and Mac McDonald created the restaurant in 1940 and had a small franchise of several stores by 1954. It was around that time that a milkshake mixer salesman named Ray Kroc stopped by. He took one look at the place and said, “I bet I could open thirty thousand of these restaurants across every continent and sell a hundred freakin’ billion hamburgers. In fact, I bet I could even get Willard Scott to dress up like a clown too. How much do you want for the place?!” The brothers agreed to sell and the rest is history. (Little known fact: The reason Ray Kroc was such a genius is because he attended my high school.)

About twenty years later, I started attending McDonald’s fairly regularly, myself. I was pretty radical at the time too: always ordering a burger, fries, and shake. (I know! Livin’ on the edge.) My earliest memory of the food was, “Wow. This stuff tastes good.” And it’s not by chance either. That stuff is genetically engineered to taste like a little slice of greasy heaven.

Which is probably why now, another thirty years later, I’m still lovin’ it. I know it’s wrong, but I really can’t help it. Big Macs, Filet o’ Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fries. Icy Coke, Thick Shakes, Sundaes, and Apple Pies. They have it all.

[This is the part where someone from McDonald's Corporation reads my blog and sends me a giant stack of $5 Gift Certificates.]

But as much as I like the Big M Supper Club, I am an adult and I realize that their food—no matter what it tastes like—isn’t what I need. If I go three times a year, I’d be surprised. And in fact, I think that might just keep the food special. If I had it once a month (or once a day) it probably just wouldn’t be the same.

So go ahead. The comment form is below. Hit me with it. Tell me I’m bad and evil and deserve ten lashes with a soggy french fry. Or be brave. Come out of your McCloset and join me. Let’s find a McD’s and I’ll even lend you one of those free gift certificates. They should be coming any day now.

Yep. Any day now.

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30 Responses to “I’m Lovin’ It”

  1. dragonmamma said
    on
    November 21, 2008 at 10:36 am
  2. muttonfish said
    on
    November 24, 2008 at 4:02 pm