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Dangerous Foods
While there’s plenty of bad food out there I enjoy eating, most of it is just that: bad. This would include everything from pepperonly pizza to Late Night Taco Doritos to Cheez-Its. These foods all have two things in common: 1) I really, really like them; and 2) if I eat too much of them, I get that awful, stuffed feeling, followed by deep regret, followed then by a long winter’s nap.
This is bad food. This is not dangerous food.
Dangerous food, on the other hand, is a whole different ballgame. True, dangerous foods also have two common traits. And, true, the first trait is the same as above: I really, really like it. But the second is quite different, and also what makes a food go from bad to dangerous: I can eat it on and on without end forever and ever.
Oh, granted, I’m sure that technically there’s some upper limit. All I’m saying is that I haven’t reached it yet. These are the types of foods I could turn professional with. I must tread around these foods with great care.
It’s not a very long list, fortunately. Here goes:
- Long John Silver’s Chicken Planks
- McDonald’s Hash Browns
- Cashews
This is the point where I’d normally say something rather witty and humorous about each of these things, but I’ve got to make some NaNoWriMo progress. So while I go write another couple thousand words over there, tell me what your dangerous foods are.
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on November 19, 2009 at 8:07 am
Pistachio nuts. Low fat nuts schmo fat nuts – that doesn’t matter when (not if) I am motoring my way solo through a 16 ounce bag. As I eat each and every one I think to myself – “nuts are so HEALTHY”…..
Mi-Del Ginger Snap cookies. Betcha can’t eat just one (bag).
Tuna casserole (I make it with jalapeño potato chip crumbs on top which is apparently like sprinkling crack heroin on there.)
Potato chips with onion dip. I only serve this if I have from 1-38 people to share it with. Public shame is a powerful deterrent.
Sigh – I’m just getting started here. I suddenly am deeply grateful I don’t weigh 400 pounds.
on November 19, 2009 at 8:26 am
The only thing that gets me like that is chocolate. Once I start I can’t stop. I guess it’s because it doesnt really fill you up?!
Tusc
on November 19, 2009 at 8:27 am
Aw crap. This was next Tuesday’s entry! I completely misconfigured the publish date.
on November 19, 2009 at 8:49 am
Hawaiian pizza.
Fudge
Truffles.
That fluffy, chocolate covered holiday sponge candy.
M&Ms (regular, crispy, or peanutbutter).
on November 19, 2009 at 9:37 am
Any sort of nut (except strangely peanuts and cashews which I do not like)
White Cheddar Cheez-Its
Spaghetti with butter and parmesan cheese
Sometimes cheese itself. I can seriously eat a whole 8 oz. block of good cheddar
Oy!
on November 19, 2009 at 10:01 am
Chocolate chip cookies.
18 x 220 calories in one sitting equals a one pound weight gain you know…
on November 19, 2009 at 10:36 am
Matchsticks, dynamite, and anti-freeze.
Oh, and also Reece’s Pieces and Tostito’s thin crust pizza, and Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar Goldfish.
Sorry to hear about the misposting. I hate it when I do that.
on November 19, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Any kind of chips with any kind of dip. I have absolutely no internal shut-off mechanism when chips and dip are involved.
on November 19, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Mine are:
pizza
chocolate
Checkers fries
cashews
My son bought a large can of cashews last week. Three days later he came to find me wailing “Mom, you ate all the cashews!!!” to which I replied “Ayep”
on November 20, 2009 at 6:51 am
oh .. I have many, many dangerous foods :$
Sesame prawn toast
Satay chicken
Mini oreos
Hagan Daaz Cookies & Cream *drools*
Chips
Pepperoni pizza
and on and on and on…
Need help!! lol
on November 22, 2009 at 10:44 am
I am impressed that you have posts written in advance! Although I always thought your articles were fresh… I would hate a stale food post LOL!
The only really dangerous food for me – Fritos. I never ever buy them. The last time I did, I ate every single one of them, one at a time. Horrible!
on November 24, 2009 at 1:23 am
[...] Dangerous Foods [...]
on December 1, 2009 at 2:50 am
my dangerous foods are:
all of those listed below,
and
Blue Bell Ice Cream … peppermint … or triple chocolate …
oreos
girl scout cookies
anything fudgy