Based on all the feedback yesterday, I’ve decided to use today’s post to respond. But first, a general ‘thank you’ to all the comments over the last two weeks. I don’t want my whining and moaning to be interpreted as unappreciativeness. For the regular readers and the people who actually bought and read the book: yay. Without any of that I wouldn’t have made it even this far. Thank you!

Now on to a few replies.

Janet: lend away! That’s what happens to books, so don’t feel bad. As far as ads go, I did try that once, but hated it. Due to the nature of my blog, Google felt compelled to only deliver ads for weight loss snake oil and refrigerator repair services. Ninety percent of the ads or better were for the omnipresent OBEY THIS RULE and I had to delete it out of principle. Besides, the entire blog is an ad for me and not hucksters. To do advertising right would take more effort than I’m willing to expend at the present!

Meg: I may email you directly about your book project. Even just to give you a needed kick from time to time. Oh, and if your children’s book is ever in dire need of any pizza references, I’m your man.

MaryBe: I like the Christmas analogy. And this too: “And just because I don’t hear from m family every day doesn’t mean that I forget about them.”

Sagan: Yes.

Quix: Just do it.

Biz and Jenn: xoxo

Michelle, Shelley B, Anne, and Anonymous: you all mentioned the next book one way or another. For you, and everyone, I thought I should give a little more detail on what I’m working on. But next week. It’s a big enough topic for a post of its own. For now I’ll just say, I’m already eleven months into it, it’s different from anything else I’ve done, and it’s fiction. Stay tuned…

And there we are! I will see you Monday since the regular weekly update is still a given. Maybe midweek we’ll talk about the next book project. And after that, it’s second star to the right and straight on till morning.

This week’s post requires some context. For that I suggest reading this post from two weeks ago and this post from last week.

For those of you who don’t want to bother with that (and I don’t blame you—I doubt I would) here’s the summary: I was in a deep blogfunk and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with this thing. I got many positive responses (more than I expected, to be honest). I responded to some of them in last week’s post. Today, I make my long-awaited pronouncement. (No, I’m not actually that full of myself.)

Why Blog?

The first question a blogger must ask him/herself is simple: “Why am I doing this?” Everyone has a different reason. For some it’s fame. For others it’s fortune. For a very small percentage of us, it’s to have something to talk about at our next high school reunion.

Do you want to know what my reason is? Well, to be perfectly honest, I wanted to advertise. Specifically, two things: 1) that book up there in the upper left; and 2) me. I know this sounds superficial at first, but it is the truth, and I’m just keepin’ it real here.

This isn’t to say I’m not being genuine. Anybody would see through that after two or three posts. And that’s not to say I’m not here to help anyone, because I am: that’s all part of the package. The primary topic of this blog is a very sensitive and emotional area for some people and I really do like the idea that I can connect with people and help out, even in small ways.

Now About That Book

The blog is about struggling with weight control. The book is about struggling with weight control. So given that, this next statement might come as a surprise: I’m not a dieter. Yes, I diet. But it’s not my life, my living, or my livelihood. I’m no more a “dieter” than I am a “shoe putter on-er” or an “unleaded gasoline buyer.” Sure, I do these things regularly, but that doesn’t mean they define me. And for that reason, I don’t want to be known as “the diet guy.” There’s more to life than worrying about snack crackers.

A bunch of years ago I decided I liked writing and so I started writing. I wrote and self-published eight editions of two video editing books before I realized that was getting me nowhere (as an author). I then decided to “write what I know” and created this humorous book on weight management. Then I realized that books do not fall into the “if you build it, they will come” category. So I started the blog to help get the word out about the book (short term goal) and to get the word out about Charlie the Author (long term goal).

And how’s that book doing? Well, let’s look at the balance sheet:

Expenses: many, many thousands of dollars
Income: a few hundred dollars

I may lose money on every sale, but I’ll make up for it in volume! You don’t have to be a CPA to realize this isn’t a sustainable business model. Of course, all businesses start with a loss, and you have to keep at it and keep at it and keep at it. But then I always think about one of my favorite Demotivator posters:

It’s a bit harsh, but it sure drives the point home.

Mid-Blog Crisis

Many comments remarked on my ability to come up with a post every single day. When I relaunched Back to the Fridge (as we know it) back on August 25, 2008, I wanted the blog to look serious. Sure, the content is humorous and entertaining, but in order to build a fan base I deemed it was necessary to make this as professional as possible. It had to be more than just a blog. So I created the fridge look and feel, and established my daily categories, and told myself that if I didn’t commit to five regular posts a week, then don’t even bother.

Things went well for a while. According to Google Analytics, traffic began to grow. I got more and more comments. My technorati ranking kept going up. I felt like for once in my life one of my crazy schemes might finally work. Then we hit the holidays and readership began dropping off. “It’s okay,” said Roni. “That always happens around the holidays. Come January, things will pick up again.” They didn’t. Readership steadily dwindled, as did the comments, as did the technorati ranking. Book sales were few and far between, even during the many book giveaways. Lots and lots of people always posted, “Sounds awesome! I need to read this.” Few follow through. The weight of it all was getting to me. I was reminded of this line from The Two Towers.

‘Well, let us go on,’ said Gimli. ‘My legs must forget the miles. They would be more willing, if my heart were less heavy.’

I know how you feel, Gimli.

Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is

And just when I hit my low point, I decided to look at my time-tracking data. If you people think I’m anal about weighing myself every day, I’ve got a time-tracking application I’ve been using since 1999 to basically keep track of every minute of every day. It’s because of this I can tell you with great certainty that I have now spent 647 hours on this blog. I only spent about two hundred hours writing the book itself! That’s a lot of time for someone who basically works seventy hours a week at the day job and still has other non-blog, non-work obligations. That’s a lot of time to watch readership dwindle, sales piddle, and blog ranking drop like a rock.

So now what?

Two weeks ago I was fully prepared to just throw in the towel completely. But then a funny thing happened. A few of you said you actually enjoy this rambling I do. (Not counting today’s rambling, of course.) It suddenly didn’t seem like such a thankless burden. I thought, “Hmmm… maybe there is something to all this.”

And so now, eleven hundred words and one and a half hours into this pointless post, I’ve decided that for the summer at least, I’m going to go with a combination of options 3 and 4. Namely:

3. If that’s too much, Charlie, I’d be happy with “when you feel like it.”

4. Sounds like you need a vacation. Take some time off, and we’ll be here when you get back.

I think this will likely translate to about one post per week. I’ll keep up with the Magical Mystery Tour category, but try to make it a little more interesting. But the official frequency will be, “whenever!”

The Future

I’m not a dieter. I’m not a blogger. I’m an author. I have no actual proof of this yet, but I feel it. What really got me down the most about that six hundred and forty-seven hour revelation isn’t so much the time spent on this but the time not spent on the next book. I can only write about pizza and cheeseburgers so many times. I have to grow. I have to produce the next book. Because one of these days I’m going to write a real damn book and it’s going to be good. I’ve been trying that for sixteen years now and so far to no avail. Rest assured that my “blog vacation” is not a vacation from writing but a vacation for writing.

So don’t be surprised if things look a little different around here when things resume in the fall. I will be ready for the Next Phase by then. Hopefully that works for you too.

Peace out…

Last week I asked for some help on this whole blogging thing, and boy did I get it.

First up, thanks for all the comments. Really, really. Comments are how I know real, live human beings are showing up every day and not just two hundred scammers trying to sell fake watches and cheap pharmaceuticals. It really makes a huge difference. More on that next week…

Actually, more on everything next week. Today I just want to respond directly to a few of last week’s comments. I’d love to respond to every single one of them, but to be honest, I’m basically a very lazy person.

Anne said, “If you force yourself to blog each day, your blog will feel forced.” And that will probably become more and more evident. On a different topic I’m embarrassed it took me about twenty minutes to figure out the Debbie Downer reference. I kept thinking where have I heard that line before?! Duhhh…

Sancho, et al suggested guest posters to take off the heat. Sounds like we have some volunteers! To be honest, though, I doubt BTTF will ever have guest posts. (Ne dit jamais jamais) The primary reason for this is that the primary reason for this blog is to showcase my mad writing skillz. (At least that’s the goal. Doesn’t actually always work out like that.)

Amy C. Yes, you can have two votes.

Loki wrote, “But if you do take that break, please please please come back to us! Your journey is inspiring and has reinvigorated my personal weight loss goals.” Wow. And here I was thinking I was just being a goofball. Roni privately said the same thing to me once, that I was this kind of blogger whether I personally believed I was or not. I guess I believe it now.

Joe knows what the voices in my head sound like. That’s spooky.

Tuscany mentioned, “Just cos people dont comment it doesnt mean they dont read.” I agree. But like I said, it sure helps.

Quix. Bored at work? Bored at work? I thought you said you worked in the MMO industry?

Suzie sounds like my newest reader. You read every single post? Sounds like you might even be in the running for president of my fan club. That used to be Megan. (Do you still stop by sometimes, Megan?) It’s interesting the way the blog audience dynamic constantly changes.

So thanks again for all the words. Tune in next week for the conclusion of this riveting three-part episode.

I created this Thursday category, “No Help Here” in order to provide you, the cool kids, with any sort of dieting-related “advice” my warped mind could come up with. Every once in a while it works out that way, most other times I simply try to write a joke or two, or even review a product.

I need to turn the tables today. No, I’m not asking for diet advice, jokes, or product reviews. I need your help, or at the very least, your answer to my short, one-question reader poll.

What’s on my mind? Well, the blog itself.

I am (and have been for a while) experiencing what’s known as blogfunk. It started as a light case of blog fatigue, but it simply hasn’t gotten any better. If you yourself are a blogger, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you don’t run your own blog, let me splain: imagine entering a running race with no finish line. Think you’d get tired around mile 196? I know I would.

So I need a little direction from you, my twelve loyal readers: any advice? Here are the poll options:

1. I can’t start my day without a little Fridge action! You just have to keep this going! Remember, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few! Or the one!
2. Well, do you have to post every day? If it would help, you could maybe post three times a week?
3. If that’s too much, Charlie, I’d be happy with “when you feel like it.” It doesn’t have to be at regular intervals, as lame and un-Charlie-like as that is.
4. Sounds like you need a vacation. Take some time off, and we’ll be here when you get back. (Yeah, right. )

So that’s it. Sorry to play Debbie Downer today, but it is what it is. Leave a comment below. To sweeten the deal, I’ll randomly choose one lucky commenter to fly the blog solo for one year.

You know the routine by now. Flip the channel, open a magazine, or click a link and you’re confronted with yet another in-depth piece of journalism talking about how horrible fad diets are. “Don’t eat a diet solely of grapefruit for the rest of your life,” they wisely tell us. Um…okay. This is obvious, obvious stuff to most of us by now. They may as well start writing articles about how the sun will rise tomorrow or how the last Harry Potter book was a best-seller. Yawn.

I think what annoys me most is the way each article is written as if were delivered from the mountaintop on a stone tablet. “Hearken unto me, ye stupid masses: Eating nothing but pickles and Sweet-Tarts for six years is bad for your health.” Yes, thank you for that helpful bit of information. That never occurred to me.

On the other hand, most of us feel a bit smug reading these gems. We feel encouraged that we, and we alone, already knew that the Cheez-It and Lemon Juice diet was a bad idea. We would certainly never buy that snake oil. We’ve learned from years and years of experience that the only way to lose weight is through eating a nutritious, balanced diet and getting plenty of exercise. (Never mind very few of us has ever actually been able to employ this concept ourselves. At least we know what we’re supposed to do.)

But what exactly are “fad diets” designed to do? Easy answer: lose weight and lose it quickly. This is, of course, what the experts immediately pounce upon. “It’s unhealthy! It hasn’t been clinically proven to work! If you follow that diet then you won’t be buying my wonder diet book!”

They’re all good points when you take it from the primary point of view of long-term viability and effectiveness. They (rightly) claim that 700 calories a day is no way to live. Or that cutting out carbohydrates for seventy years is impossible. But last I checked, I don’t believe a single one of these programs actually recommends you follow the diet for seventy years.

If a diet promises a quick fix, and you’ve struggled with everything else, then why not try it for two or three days? Unless you’re actively ingesting poison, I don’t believe two or three days of anything is going to have any long term negative impact. You may just drop a few pounds. And, sure, it’s probably all water weight. But maybe that’s exactly what you need to get your butt in gear.

The detractors of fad diets make the exact same mistake the proponents of good diets make: they focus on the math and ignore the psychology. If you’re down in the dumps and feel like nothing will ever work for you, then go ahead and grab a crazy diet for half a week and see what happens. If that drops you from 212 to 209 you might just feel something you haven’t felt for a long, long time: happy. And, holy cow, if that was just enough to drop you from 202 back into Onederland, you might just go out and buy yourself a pony.

Just one word of warning. The experts are right. Don’t do this forever. Treat it for what it is: a kickstart program and go into it with a transition plan in hand. Your three days of fad dieting is more than enough time to stock up on good foods, buy a new pair of walking shoes, and purchase that doctor’s new wonder diet book.