“Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love’s first kiss.”
Those are the opening lines to the 2001 animated film Shrek. If you’re wondering why I decided to open up this post with that, it’s because I’m really not in the mood to write about anything remotely related to reality.
For example, if you were to say, “Charlie, please tell me about the last two weeks of your diet!” I would be forced to reply.
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”
You would then give me a puzzled look, open your mouth, close it, and then slowly turn and walk away.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.”
|Change from Last Time||-0.4|
|Lost So Far||5.6|
|Pounds To Go||28.4|
The glass-half-full people will look at the average loss for the two weeks (negative zero point four pounds) and say, “Well, at least it didn’t go up!” Or, the really positive thinkers out there would say, “You started the two weeks at 229 and ended it at 228. That’s a whole pound!” Unfortunately, I and my fellow glass-half-empty people look at these results and say, “The number went down in spite of what I did, not because of it.”
The fact is, I don’t want to lose weight. Okay . . . I do, but just not enough to offset the other sixteen thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine wants in my life. The day starts off well enough, but by ten o’clock I’ve been presented with something yummy and *click* just like that I’m off the wagon again.
The just switch ain’t on. I had it on a month ago and it lasted all of one week.
But I’m not giving up just yet. It’s not too late to try and bring this around. In fact, if I’m lucky, maybe someone will drive by and shout out, “Stop running, fatty!” I hear an event like that can be very motivational.