Don’t think you can call a 5day plateau a plateau anyhow…..lol..."
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I understand that a million different diet messages can make for some confusing times out there. The diet industry has never had a problem contradicting itself at any given time about what’s good, what’s bad, and what should simply be left alone. But I think there are a few things just about everybody can universally agree on. And one of them is that the burger pictured here is “not good for you.”
It weighs four pounds, comes on an eight-inch bun, clocks in at 4,800 calories, and a dietitian is asking ballpark owners to add a warning label to this thing. Sounds pointless to me. But I guess I should remember that this is the same society that requires a “do not eat” label on printer toner.
This hand-holding annoys me greatly. I’d like to think that there’s some sort of base level of competence we can target. You know, like, if it’s obvious to a fourth grader, you’re probably okay leaving off the “never iron clothes while they are being worn” sticker.
In this particular case, the dietitian wants this burger labeled “dietary disaster” that increases the risk of cancer and heart disease.
If there’s someone out there who thinks the four pound burger is health food, then this person is obviously a candidate for the Darwin Awards.
Plus, I don’t believe this burger causes cancer and heart disease and here’s why. Let’s say studies were done that determined that falling off a cliff was harmful to your health. Then some experts concluded you should never step off a curb. If you eat diets high in calories, saturated fat, and french fries constantly, then, yes, you’re probably in trouble. But if you head out to the ballpark once every few years and for fun you go in on this burger with a few friends and split it, then, no, you’re not going to immediately leave the ballpark on a stretcher.
This is just my long-winded way of saying “moderation.” And for those who argue that a 4,800 calorie burger isn’t “moderation” then I counter-argue that “moderation” doesn’t mean, “never ever ever having any fun whatsoever again.”
Besides, splitting this burger with a couple friends is no worse than a big Thanksgiving dinner. And I don’t see anyone campaigning to slap warning labels on turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes. Unless, of course, the label were to read, “Warning! Do not insert food directly into nostrils.”
As a child of the 70s, I just had to watch The Love Boat. It came on either just before or just after Fantasy Island and as near as I can tell, had all the exact same guest stars. While admittedly the bizarre Fantasy Island was a bit more in line with my offbeat tastes, the one thing it didn’t have was Lauren Tewes. I remember watching the show when I was thirteen or so, which is about the exact age you truly believe you can grow up and marry a TV star. Besides, she was only twelve years older. While 13 and 25 isn’t feasible, it worked out for Ashton and Demi, right?
Okay, now we’re more like twenty years apart, here. But that still didn’t matter when you’re talking about one of the coolest moms on the tube. I mean think about it, who was she up against around that time? Mrs. Cunningham? Ms. Romano? Sophia Petrillo? Although, I really can’t overlook Justine Bateman. She was pretty hot and we were the exact same age. Perhaps I should have written fan letters to her instead, and avoided all those pesky restraining orders. Ah, what would we do baby without us?
This one’s a no-brainer. In fact, I’m not even sure what to write except look at Princess Leia in the gold bikini. For those of us who grew up with her between 1977 and 1983, this scene was like suddenly seeing the girl next door on the beach in a bathing suit. I mean, you always figured she was a looker, even though you grew up right next door from her, but then to have it all laid out like this…wow. Unfortunately, Leia got dressed for the rest of the film. Fortunately, she didn’t kiss her brother again.
Not too long ago, I wrote about The Four Food Groups: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, and Cheeseburgers. Someone suggested, and I had to agree, that breakfast could have easily been among these chosen few. So today I am making it official. Breakfast is now the Fifth Food Group.
