Low Glycemic Gotchas

April 23rd, 2009

When I started this latest and (frankly) greatest diet two hundred and seventy days ago, the whole idea wasn’t so much to lose weight as it was avoiding diabetes. I’ve been voluntarily taking my own blood sugar readings for a while now and when I hit the number pictured here, I knew it was time to do something.

After having tried many different diet plans, I knew I really needed something different this time. So I did two things I’d never tried before: 1) I kept track of what I ate in a journal; and 2) I went with a low glycemic plan (due to the fact that blood sugar levels were a big concern and also because it sounded cool).

A low glycemic diet is a lot like low carb, but you’re allowed to eat Twix candy bars. (In moderation, of course. No more than a dozen or so per day. (And yes, I’m kidding.)) The idea is that eating foods with low impact on your blood sugar levels is better than the opposite. The trick is figuring out which foods are which.

For example: which food do you think has the lower glycemic index (or “GI”): the aforementioned Twix bar or watermelon? No joke, folks, it actually is the Twix bar. So what gives? Well, “what gives” is the GI achilles heel: in order to do apples to apples comparison, the GI is calculated by giving people an amount of a food that delivers fifty grams of digestible carbs (meaning sugar and starches, but not fiber).

Therefore, to get 50g of digestible carbs out of a Twix, eat three-fourths of a large bar. To get that much out of watermelon, eat five cups of the stuff on a hot summer day. Ironic how making an apples to apples comparison results in something that looks like nothing of the sort.

Bottom line? Even though watermelon does indeed have a greater absolute impact on blood sugar levels, you’re probably not going to be eating it at those quantities.

So what’s a person to do with all this confusion information? Well, just do what’s never failed you: use your common sense.

Apple or birthday cake? See, it’s easier than you thought.

Posted in No Help Here | 9 Comments »

Losin’ It

April 22nd, 2009

I like the band Rush and near the top of my list of favorite songs is Losin’ It from their 1982 album Signals. The whole song is rather depressing but this verse sticks out in particular:


The writer stares with glassy eyes,
Defies the empty page.
His beard is white, his face is lined
And streaked with tears of rage.

Thirty years ago, how the words would flow
With passion and precision.
But now his mind is dark and dulled
By sickness and indecision

And he stares out the kitchen door
Where the sun will rise no more…

I feel a bit like that myself from time to time. Of course, my mind may not be all “dark and dulled” just yet, but I can sure identify with the concept of blanking out. Or recalling those times when the words flowed with passion and precision.

Granted, much of what I write is goofy, but it’s very precise goofiness. With passion.

Still, I can’t help wonder at what point I’ll cross from “losin’ it” to “lost it”. Two years? Twenty years? Or two hundred years, when my brain gets tired of walking around in that robotic jar? The only real question I have is this: if and when that time comes, will I at least have the synopsis to my next book finished? I swear, it’s taking absolutely forever. And I haven’t even gotten to my glassy-eyed phase yet.

The good news is, when I do, y’all be the first ta know.

Oh, if you haven’t heard this song, track it down. It’s worth it. The lyrics may not be the most uplifting, but the song is really intense, it’s in 5/4 time, and has a killer electric violin solo by Ben Mink.

Er, I mean, it has a killer electric violin solo by me. Yeah, that’s the ticket. That’s me playing the violin with Rush back in 1982. And … uh … Heather Locklear. Yeah, that’s the ticket. She was there too, right by my side. Me and Geddy Lee and Heather Locklear. And … uh … you know, before we even finished the third take, they brought me my Grammy. Yeah, that’s exactly what happened.

Posted in Leftovers | 6 Comments »

Two Great Tastes

April 21st, 2009

In the movie Ratatouille, Remy, shown here, describes the flavor of a strawberry in vibrant terms. Similarly, he vividly illustrates the tastes found in the cheese he’s holding. But then when he puts them together! Oh, new gastronomic vistas are opened!

Two great tastes that taste great together isn’t just a marketing tagline for Reese’s Peanut Butter cups. It’s the very foundation of the culinary arts as we know them. Thousands of years ago, when Thag first dragged his mammoth meat through a rosemary bush, wheels were set in motion that ultimately created perhaps the greatest taste combination ever.

No, not the strawberries and the cheese.

No, not the peanut butter and the chocolate.

No, not even the pepperoni and the pizza.

I’m talking about … Baconnaise. “I would eat that with a spoon,” claims Steven in the little Flash animation on their home page. “How did I ever eat burgers without this?” Jessica sagely asks.

Now I must go on record saying that I’m reviewing a product I’ve never tried. But, come on! Do I actually have to try Baconnaise to know if I’m going to like it or not? That’s like someone telling you, “I’m about to give you a big pile of money, but I’m not sure if you’re going to like it or not.”

There’s really no doubt about this. Besides, I believe in researchers who describe their R&D efforts like this:

It was at that point that we began a very unhealthy morning routine: eat a slice of bacon, try a version of Baconnaise, eat a slice of bacon. Compare. Improve. Repeat. Over the 6 months it took us to make Baconnaise, we estimate that we probably ate 20 pounds of bacon, consumed 5 large jars of mayonnaise and took 2 years off of our lives – looking for that exact and delicious flavor that we would be proud to call Baconnaise.

And even though I don’t know her, I believe in bloggers like Emily who say, “This makes me want to cry sweet bacony tears of joy.”

So I must try this product … and soon. Who knows, it may actually have the potential to surpass “Sour Cream and Onion” as my favorite flavor of toothpaste.

Posted in You Know What Sounds Good Right Now? | 6 Comments »

So Much For That

April 20th, 2009

I was so busy with the site makeover last week, I really didn’t talk too much about the topic at hand. If you remember from two weeks ago (and I hope you don’t, because really, my babbling isn’t worth you wasting precious neurons on) I had just broken the last barrier: 197.5.

That was a special milestone for me because after weeks of walking along the borders of Onederland, finally getting below this point felt like I was at last safe from Relapseville.

The subsequent week only continued the goodness. Check out the chart for that week. Except for that very last day (and the reason I’m glad I went to “weight averaging” when I did) this was awesome. 195.5 was a new low and I hit it two days in a row.

So imagine my shock on that last day when I was 198. Sort of ruins that perfect week, don’t it? But that’s okay, right? It’s just one day, right? No need to panic, right? I was doing well, I’m sure I’ll get right back on track, right?

Wrong.

Week 38
Starting Weight 224.0
Current Weight 198.1
Change from Last Week +1.5
Lost So Far 25.9

So what happened? Well, let’s see… average daily caloric intake for the good week: 1800. Average daily caloric intake for the bad week: nearly 2200. Another weight loss mystery solved! Hopefully things will go better this week, but I don’t know.

Two boxes of Golden Grahams just showed up out of nowhere.

Posted in Magical Mystery Tour | 8 Comments »

Eating Out Tips #3

April 17th, 2009

Looking for the next stop in the Austin Burger Tour? Don’t worry, we’ll be back with that later. (To be honest, I never intended to do them all in a row. The first four just sort of worked out that way.) However, all this recent burger-eating made me think: it’s time for another segment in the “Eating Out Tips” series.

If you missed the first two, click here:

So now, without further ado, here are five more tips to help you, the struggling dieter, cope with the trauma of eating out. Each one is dedicated to one of the five food groups:

  1. If you go to an Italian restaurant, and you’re worried about ordering a ginormous plate of pasta smothered in a buttery sauce, simply do what I do. Go ahead and order it, but ask for five carry-out boxes. Divide the meal evenly among each box. Don’t eat any of it now. Instead, take the boxes home, freeze them, then throw them out in 2012.
  2. If you go to a Mexican restaurant and your table is stocked with forty-seven bowls of complimentary tortilla chips, try to imagine the chips are something you’d never eat. This targeted visualization technique will help you avoid high-calorie, pre-dinner indulgences, though potentially confusing your companions when you say, “No thanks, I’m not in the mood for earthworms.”
  3. If you go to a Chinese restaurant and your table is stocked with one of those large lazy susans, make sure it never stops in front of you. You’ll need an accomplice a friend sitting on the other side of the table. If the food ever gets near you, it will be his or her responsibility to quickly rotate it out of your reach.
  4. If you go to a Cheeseburger restaurant (I won’t mention any names, but it’s first initial is Red Robin) and they offer all you can eat french fries, take heart: all is not lost. As each basket of fries arrives at the table, immediately toss them over your shoulder into the booth behind you. You avoid the calories and the guy in the next booth doesn’t mind because—hey, free fries.
  5. If you go to a Breakfast restaurant and you find that there’s simply no avoiding the Grand Slam, you can easily divert half the calories of the bacon, eggs, spam, spam, and spam platter by reaching into your coat pocket and pulling out your cleverly concealed dog. A bite for you, a bite for Rex. Another bite for you, another bite for Rex. Problem solved and you won’t need a doggy bag.
Late addition to the Back to the Fridge 3.0 New Feature list. You can now subscribe to comments. It’s new, so give it a whirl and give me some feedback!

Posted in Pizza Night | 11 Comments »

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